The Bard of Hogwarts
by Vindicare40k
Summary: Bards: Spell casters, Jack of All Trades, Story Tellers, and Manipulators. Taken as an infant watch the Wizarding World try and come to terms with a Boy-Who-Lived raised by one of these individuals. 5e D&D, Bardic Shenanigans ensue.
1. Chapter 1

_I don't own either Dungeons and Dragons or Harry Potter_

 _AN: Made some edits to fix errors, if I missed any let me know._

So, you want to hear the tale of Harry Potter, The Bard of Hogwarts? Very well, but I warn you, it is not for the faint of heart. Actually, it's really not all that bad, so sorry about lying.

No I'm not. My very job depends on my ability to lie. Not in this instance though, I would never lie to you.

But this tale, it is...something, can't quite call it heroic, can't quite call it evil. Then again, I tend to be a moral nihilist therefore my view on things may not be shared by most people. Oh well, you may be judge of the actions taken in the story.

I remember the day Harry Potter came under my tutelage well, it also marked a day that changed the world forever.

 _xxxXXXxxx_

It all began on November 1st 1981, a place called Privet Drive, located at Little Whinging in England.

A breeze ruffled the neat hedges of Privet Drive, which lay silent and tidy under the inky sky, the very last place you would expect astonishing things to happen. However astonishing things tend to not care one way or another on location.

An activity that was not so astonishing though was happening across the street from something that would be considered astonishing, down right important in fact.

This more mundane activities presence would lead down a path full of mystery, adventure, merriment, debauchery, and wonder. It was also lead to the suffering and deaths of quite a large quantity of people, but hey, they all had it coming. Except for Tangerine Terry, he will be missed.

Inside Number 3 Privet Drive, the home of rich snob who had pissed off the wrong people, a crime was being committed. A dastardly, yet still puckishly roguelike, individual made his way through the home. It was a simply burglary job, take about 8,000 pounds worth of items from the house and leave an Iris flower as the calling card.

The last part wasn't in the job description but my- the man's vanity had to be sustained.

Speaking of vanity was the burglar dressed like some new jack, wannabe spy, wearing a black sweater with fatigues and slick combat boots? Hell no. He was far better than that.

Wearing a snowy white tuxedo, bedazzled with rhinestones made from actual gems, and some quite fashionable dress shoes with neon red laces, the man made sure he stood out. Oh, the rhinestones also could light up and flash with the push of a button. Was this feature on at the moment?

You bet your ass it was.

You see, it's one thing to rob a place while being one with the shadows. In fact any two bit small timer can do it. But real talent is robbing a place, at night, with enough light on you to classify as a second sun.

But this man was just that good.

Grabbing a bottle of vodka from the fridge, and pocketing it for latter, the man made sure he had nabbed the essentials. T.V? Check. Car keys? Check. Jewelry? Check. Liquor? Check. Only thing left to do was leave. And because this roguish figure don't do nothing half-assed, he did a running corkscrew back flip, out the open first story window.

Naturally he landed on his feet with no effort and made a point to bow to the audience, which was in this case the home he robbed and a small infant left on the doorstep next door.

Now, he was obviously concerned about the well being of a baby left out in the, harsh, November night weather of England, so he went to check up on the bundle.

Now this infant had all the makings of a true hero. He had a wicked lightning bolt scar(chicks dig the scars), emerald green eyes(also sure to grab the honeys), and according to the letter left on the boy he was orphaned. Killed by a Dark Lord. This kid could be the next Batman! However, he would need a teacher.

One who was skilled.

One who was strong.

One who knew the world.

One who could play any instrument known to man.

And most importantly, one with a great fashion sense.

Sensing an opportunity when one presented itself, the man grabbed the bundle and was about to beat a hasty retreat. Not just with the stolen good, but with a new possible underling.

Damn he was good!

However, as if the fates themselves wanted this confrontation to happen, the door of 4 Privet Drive swung open, revealing a man who must have descended from a Blue Whale.

"What's going on out here!? Who's there!? Damn I can't see." The man demanded as he squinted from the bright lights of the suit blinding him. Clearly the puckish rogue had planned this from the beginning and acted upon this moment.

"I am a being sent from the heavens. This child's time on the world is no more. Taken by the folly of leaving an infant out a night. This boy was to be your nephew, no I am to take him into the great beyond." The man altered his voice to have a rather, angelic quality to it. You know, echoey, kind of a male/female voice at the same time, talks in a soothing tone. Well it's what his experience with celestial entities had been anyways.

The whale man was joined by an assumed wife as both squinted at the bundle in the man's arms. They both looked overwhelmed at was happening and so with one last little push the man secured his escape.

"Heed my words mortals. Do not let the folly of tonight weigh upon you, as it was not your fault. Nay, take this experience and care forth my words. Do not leave small children out at night in November. Didn't really think I needed to state this, but apparently I do." As he spoke the man levitated off the ground more and more as he began to rise above the houses. The couple passed out from shock and with that the man disappeared in a flash of light.

A breeze ruffled the neat hedges of Privet Drive, which lay silent and tidy under the inky sky, the very last place you would expect astonishing things to happen.

 _xxxXXXxxx_

The man, now clearly a savior, appeared in a penthouse apartment overlooking the city of London.

The interior decour was clearly rivaled by no other as the walls were lined with posters of the best sold out movies and concerts of the past 40 years. The furniture was all real leather, with a mahogany dinner table, and a small zen garden complete with a tiny flowing stream took up the middle of the room.

It pays very well to be in the man's line of work. Very, very, very well. I highly recommend it.

Setting the boy down onto the table the man took one last look over the letter and nodded. He was doing a good thing. Those people were clearly just going to be a hindrance to what the child could learn.

Well not on Malcer Brightwood's watch.

Oh yeah, the man was named Malcer Brightwood, don't worry too much about it, he goes by something else about 95% of the time.

Not that I would know.

Brightwood, or as he was known in the criminal world, The Bard, gave the boy a smile.

"Well, well, Harry Potter. Fortuna herself must be smiling over you. You lose a family, but gained a teacher. It seems like you are going to be in for quite an interesting ride from here on out."

 _xxxXXXXxxx_

Flashing forward 10 years. Yes I know that's quite a time jump, and question are bound to be present, but answers will come. You just need a sense of dramatic reveal.

Anyways, flashing forward 10 years, an 11 year old Harry Potter walked down the streets of Diagon Alley, his mentor, and subsequently the man who annoyed him most in life, not far behind.

Harry had received a letter inviting him to go to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Well he had actually revived letters from magical schools from around the world, but due to various reasons, none at all issues with Johnny Law, Hogwarts was the one he chose to attend.

It was an odd sensation for Harry. Not the finding out about magic, oh no he had been aware and practicing magic for the better part of 9 years by this point. No, the odd thing was that he was going to be settling down in one place for more that 6 months.

You see the vary nature of Bards demands exploration. We are storytellers, acrobats, artists, musicians, and adventures. And The Bard could only teach Harry so much of each while confined in London.

And so the decision was made to travel around the world, meet new and exciting people, learn from them, make connections, possibly seduce someone, and then move on.

Harry had spent the last 9 years in around 35 different countries, picking up things and stories from each.

At the time he received his letter, he was in Quebec practicing with Cirque Du Soleil, and doing fairly well at it. He had asked The Bard on if he could attend Hogwarts, as he desired to at least experience his homelands magic system, as he had learned from everywhere else. Fun Fact: Voodoo creeped Harry out to no end, but The Bard made sure he got through it and thus Harry made a deal with a Loa. But that's a story for another time.

He knew he didn't need The Bard's permission, the entire relationship between the two was more akin to two brothers than a father/son, but it worked for them both. But nevertheless The Bard was going to see his little protege off and make sure he made an impact.

As the two made their way around grabbing the supplies required for school, they were grabbing everyone's attention. Harry had taken to heart the most important thing his mentor could teach. Dress is everything. Both wore absurdly bright outfits, The Bard choosing to go in a red and gold, bedazzled phoenix designed, tux complete with a similarly red fedora.

Harry, sadly, did not share his mentor's love of the bedazzler and simply opted for sleek, but fashionable. He had dark blue satin dress pants, black and white dress shoes, a white dress shirt with an accompanying silk lavender vest. The stares the drew were obviously of jealousy as everyone around them was stuck wearing those god awful robes.

No fashion sense among the wizarding world it seemed.

The two entered Ollivander's, a wand shop, and were greeted by the man behind the counter. The old man had wide, pale, eyes that shined like moons in the gloom of the shop. The Bard offered some tips on interior decorating, but was sadly and mistakenly turned down.

Ollivander went on how it was nice to see Harry alive, and that he remembered the wands he sold to his parents. This had been happening a lot today, as Harry was quite famous in the Wizarding World for defeating some Dark Lord who was too stupid to simply strangle a baby. That came out more morbid than I would have liked, the statement still stands.

Though as it turns out, the whole "Angelic Kidnapping" plan The Bard used may have cause some issues as everyone believed Harry to be dead. On the plus side though this meant he was even more popular because he pulled a Lazarus and didn't have to do it the hard way.

As I said, The Bard clearly planned it like that.

The downside though was that any money that would have been Harry's was distributed to other "Purebloods" thanks to the Ministry of Magic's lack of government oversight. While initially bummed Harry was not to upset by this as he had more than enough money from other places.

One of which was most definitely not the shady line of work The Bard was involved in. And it is especially not why the 6 Yakuza heads over in Japan suddenly died leaving only the Akimoto Clan in power. Yep, most definitely not that.

Harry quickly broke somethings thanks to not having the right wand, but then Ollivander brought out an 11 inch wand made from Holly, with a Phoenix feather. It was the twin wand of the one that the Dark Lord who attempted to kill Harry all those years ago. Harry loved the the poetic nature of it, and thus named his wand _Ironie_.

The fabulous duo left the store to continue shopping, grabbing all the basic supplies Harry needed. When in the pet shop, they may have gotten a wee bit out of control.

First Harry got a snow white owl whom he named Hedwig, it was a joyous occasion with music swelling in the distance. That is actually true, as The Bard found a music store across the street and began playing a violin to see if it was up to his standards. It was not.

But afterwards? The two may have purchased several very dangerous magical animals. The Bard turned them into clay figurines with his own magic with Harry placing them into his pockets. I-The Bard refuses to be responsible with how those animals were used.

Lastly, and the one the two dreaded the most, was Madam Malkin's Robes For All Occasions. Harry stood as the woman fitted him for what even a nun would call to prudish of robes. There was some blond boy next to Harry going off on the houses of Hogwarts, and how he wanted to end up in Slytherin. Neither he nor The Bard payed much attention as they were clearly in a place of evil and had to get out. Finishing up with the fitting, the duo burst outside to escape from their Tarturus.

Harry rounded the corner so no one could see him and conjured a celestial being of light with a whistle of the Ava Maria. He asked, no, demanded the celestial to purge that horrid building of it's evil.

It called them both dumb asses and left.

Harry made a mental note to summon either demons or elementals for his biding from now on. With their trip to the Alley mostly successful the two left and went to The Bard's apartment, where Harry immediately began reading his books while practicing his trapeze in a pocket dimension.

The Bard asked why, not that it was a bad thing, but he wanted context. Turns out he had made a bet with a French girl named Fleur who had visited the Cirques, that if he had mastered an entire shows routine, one of which was the trapeze, by the point she saw him next, he would get in her pants.

The Bard shed many tears of joy on that day and left his protege to it. He had taught him well.

 _xxxXXXxxx_

On the morning of September 1st 1991 Harry Potter had boarded the Hogwarts with very little issues. His mentor had said goodbye at Platform 9 ¾ and reminded Harry that a good Bard did not burn bridges when he could. But since it was his first year at a boarding school he had to make a point he was not one to mess with.

Thus the first person who became Harry's enemy would be found with several stab wounds and be to afraid to rat. It worked when he was in prison so it should work in school.

Wearing a black tuxedo with gold trim on the sleeves, Harry walked up the aisles of the train looking for suitable conversation company. Bard's were social creatures, and he hadn't been in the country in 9 years and needed to know what was up.

Problem was, all the people he saw looked like plebs. They had no fashion sense and probably couldn't follow a conversation with him anyways. That was until he found a compartment with a light skinned platinum blonde girl talking with another light skinned girl, but with raven colored hair. Something that Harry picked up from The Bard, which was totally awesome and not a bad thing, was the love of the ladies. Putting on his best charming smile he introduced himself.

"Hello ladies. Do you mind if I sit with you? After all you seem much better conversation than most of the other people on this train." Harry gave a slight bow as he spoke, showing his courteous side. The raven haired girl smirked at her friend, who rolled her eyes but nodded in acceptance.

"Why thank you kindly. I hope I was not intruding on a secret conversation." He said as moved into the compartment, sitting as the raven haired girl, but still a respectable distance away.

"Not at all, we were just discussing what houses we will be sorted into. We both will definitely make Slytherin, but what about you? Oh, I'm Tracy by the way. Tracey Davis. And this is Daphne Greengrass." Tracey introduced her and her possible Slytherin friend.

"Well I must admit I am at a disadvantage on that question as I've traveling around a lot with my teacher. But still it is very nice to meet you both, my name is Harry Potter." Both girls got wide eyed at that and immediately started to freak out, as well they should. Not everyday you meet a dead hero.

"Harry Potter! But you're dead!" Tracey exclaimed as Daphne nodded in agreement.

"I can tell, stories of my death have been greatly exaggerated. However should the opportunity present itself I am curios as to how being dead feels. Having dealt with plenty of undead at this point the question is on my mind." Harry said with a smirk as he got the two to bite on the, "meeting undead" part.

And so Harry began regaling them with a story of how he and his mentor encountered a manic depressive Lich in Australia who, after many surf lessons and hits from a blunt, found his calling as a surfer. An hour had passed by the time he had finished his tale, and both Daphne and Tracey clung to every word that was said.

"Woooow. Who would have ever guessed that surfing can thwart zombies." Tracey said in wonderment.

"You would be quite surprised what surfing can solve. In fact, here's a story about how surfing, a roll of duct tape, and the Gay Men's of Los Angeles Choir helped me calm an army of angry weretigers." Before Harry could begin the door to the compartment swung open and revealed the blond boy from that ninth circle of Hell.

"I hear Harry Potter's on the train." The boy stated with two goon children standing behind him.

"Uhhh, yeah. Right here." Harry waved from his seat. The blond boy looked at him held out his hand.

"Draco Malfoy. You'll find some wizarding families are better than others. I can help you with that." Draco said with a smug smile. Harry shook his hand and addressed him.

"Right, any ways I was in the middle of a story, so are you staying or going?" Draco seemed to notice for the first time the other two in the compartment and saw their displeasure at Draco's interruption. Sitting next to Daphne, Draco ordered his goon children, Crabbe and Goyle, to stand outside to prevent undesirables from entering.

Harry began the story of the weretigers and time quickly passed as he caught the complete attention of those in the compartment and the two goons outside. By the end of the story they had arrived at Hogwarts.

It took all three friends he made on the way over to put on his robe. At one point he may have summoned up an knife made from ice and threatened Draco about not wanting to wear the nun outfit, but the two ladies talked him down.

There was a boat ride across probably the worst water to have a boat ride on when a question was asked.

"Soooooo, uuh how did you conjure a knife made of ice with no wand? You just whistled and it appeared." Daphne asked. Tracey and Draco both looked at him expectedly and awaited an answer for the question they had as well.

"...Don't worry about that." Harry dismissed as he debated trying to talk them into believing they hallucinated it. While entirely possible, it seemed rude to do to new friends. Plus it might help him get a positive reputation going around. Make Harry do something he doesn't want to, he stabs you with an ice knife. It's perfect.

Moving through the boring processes of school bureaucracy, eventually it came time for the sorting. An old singing hat, which is the best kind, would be put in your head and throw you into a house. The entire Great Hall was filled with staff and students, clearly judging you based off this one moment. Makes you wonder on the logistics of the school don't it?

When Harry's name was called the entire hall was silent. They watched The-Boy-Who-Lived, the one who destroyed the Dark Lord, the one who returned from the dead, sit down and have the hat placed on him. There was an answer almost immediately. With the hat sounding genuinely upset with what it saw. Not in a depressed manner though, more of a "I can't believe you did that" manner.

"Slytherin."


	2. Chapter 2

_I don't own either D &D or Harry Potter_

 _AN: Made some edits_

Suffice to say, the people in the Great Hall reacted diffrently to Harry's sorting.

Slytherin cheered as the nabbed the Boy-Who-Lived.

Gryffindor was shocked as they had figured the savior of the Wizarding World would end up in the house of lions.

Hufflepuff, whom most were probably stoned given their name, politely clapped.

Ravenclaw followed Hufflepuff, minus the being high part, with polite clapping.

Harry removed the hat and proceeded to call it a right git. As it turns out the Sorting Hat had some "ethical issues" with some of the thing Harry had been roped into and wanted to rat to the headmaster. A wizard who had a great many names, but who was mostly called Albus Dumbledore.

Thing was, The Bard didn't not teach Harry to be a snitch. They didn't last long in the line of work he was in, and thus the Harry learned at a young age you don't rat anyone out for anything.

"I'm warning you hat, snitches get stitches." Harry threatened the hat to the confusion of everyone in the room as he sat down next to Daphne and Draco. Despite the cheers they had given him, which he could tell they did out of spite to the other Houses, Harry received mostly sideways stares from the other snakes. Not the ones he befriended on the train, just everyone else.

"I knew you would end up in Slytherin, all the best people do." Draco applauded Harry. Daphne and Tracey likewise gave nods of approval as the sorting wrapped up with the last boy going to Slytherin as well.

Dumbledore shot a spell into the air to gain everyone's attention, he spoke of how he was glad to see returning faces, as well as new ones. He spoke of how the Forbidden Forest was, in fact, forbidden. He then, for some reason, mention how the 3rd floor was off limits and those who entered may receive a gruesome death.

Now, you never tell a Bard they can not do something. They will make a point to spite you on it, and to ridicule you for whatever reason you gave for telling them the thing they were doing was not allowed.

As such when dinner was dismissed Harry snuck away from the large group of first years being lead to their dorms in the dungeons and went to the 3rd floor.

Finding it mostly empty, Harry was initially disappointed until he found a locked door. Now Harry had two choices here. He could have either A. turned around and went back to his dorm as to not break a rule on his first day at school. Or B. break into the room and see what was inside.

He made the correct choice and broke into the room by casting the spell _Knock._ This was one of several spells taught to him by The Bard, and one that typically gave the finger to things trying to bar your way into something.

Pushing the door open, imagine Harry's surprise when he came face to face with a sleeping Cerberus. You're going to have to imagine one as his, was one of disappointment. He had been expecting a dragon or something that was not just a massive three headed dog. He noted a trap door under the dog's paw, but was now not in the mood for adventure. Rookie mistake.

Sighing in defeat Harry closed the door and turned to try find where the hell the Slytherin dorms would be. Probably should have figured that out before leaving.

However he was faced with an obstacle in front of him. Dumbledore and the heads of the Houses were all in the hall.

"I see that my warning must have fallen on deaf ears. Might I ask why you are not currently in your dorms with your fellow students Harry?" Dumbledore spoke in a very grandfatherly tone.

"Yea." Harry replied. Silence consumed the hall as Harry's need to be a smart ass took form. One of the House Heads, a black, greasy, haired man named Severus Snape spoke up.

"Not even here for a day and already breaking the rules Potter? Such arrogance, just like your father. You are in my house and thus your poor behavior reflects on me and your peers. Well I will tell you this. I will not tolerate this type of behavior from any Slytherin, least of all from you. Am I clear." Snape lectured. Little did he know Harry completely ignored everything the man said because he seemed like a prick.

"What Professor Snape is saying, Mr. Potter, is that there are rules here. Rules that have a reason, and are for your protection." The elderly woman in charge of Gryffindor, Minerva Mcgonagall chited.

"I understand that professors, and I truly am sorry, but you see you have it all wrong. I was not up here to break the rules. I had to use the restroom and the head boy pointed me towards here. An honest mistake really." Harry used his best "Help me I'm a lost child" voice, which seemed to win over ⅘ of the present group. Snape seemed suspicious of Harry but as the Headmaster began to apologize for the assumption he knew he had lost the ability to call Harry on it.

Being dismissed, and told he was to report to the Headmaster's office tomorrow after classes, Snape was instructed to lead Harry to his dorm. Along the way Snape stopped and turned on The Bard's student.

"You may have fooled the others with your story Potter but not me. I know no one in Slytherin is dumb enough to instruct a first year student, one of their own house even, towards a clearly stated off limits hall. Now, what were you doing up there." Snape sneered.

Harry stared at the teacher and debated something in his mind. On the one hand he could come clean and hope to win favor via deception ability. Or he could be silent and just let Snape assume he was an idiot, something he was fine with. Seeing the benefits of both Harry reached into his pocket and pulled out the last thing The Bard gave him before he left.

A gold coin with the etchings of two women on it, on one side the words _Fortuna Favet Fortibus_. On the other side, the words _Videte Bene_. This was The Bards coin of Fortuna and Metis, a kind of Augury to be used when faced with a choice. Does one throw caution to the wind and let fortune favor the bold? Or does one head the words of wise counsel and keep their mouth shut.

It had served his mentor well, and it was entrusted to Harry in the hope it served him just as diligently. Giving the coin a flip Harry caught the coin and looked at what the destiny the two goddesses told him was.

 _Fortuna Favet Fortibus_

That settled it.

"Alright you caught me. The head boy didn't point me in the most definitely wrong direction. No instead I went up there in hopes of finding the "gruesome death" but was severely let down. Now, before you go on and on about proper behavior and how to behave let me tell you this. I don't care. I am not a wizard. I'm a Bard. I have spent my entire life traveling the globe learning magic, fighting styles, stories, and all sorts of other things from the best. You called me arrogant like my father? Well I never met the man, but you are damn right I'm arrogant. I have no reason not to be. I am 11 yet I've already done things people would take entire life times to do. I've performed concerts in front of world leaders, I've done circus performances with world renowned acrobats and stage performers, I've battled ancient evils and discovered lost civilizations. I've learned all this from the best, because it is my goal to be the best. That's why I'm here, that's why that bloody hat put me in your house. Now, you can either help me with that goal, or you can get out of my way." Harry spoke with conviction and strength unbecoming of an 11 year old.

Slytherin was the house of ambition and cunning? Well no one in Hogwarts had the ambition or the cunning to match Harry, nor would they ever. His goal was not one of achieving renown in simply the magical world, he had done that as an infant. No, his was to be the best in the world, and he would make damn sure he accomplished that goal.

Snape gazed at Harry Potter for the longest time. Initially he was going to chastise and insult him, but the boy's conviction caught him off guard. The admission of arrogance and the subsequent rant he went on surprised Snape as he listened to what Potter had done. How he wanted to discredit the boy's words, to call him a boaster and a failure. But he couldn't.

Plus, he imagined the boy's words had to have some truth to them, as the Sorting Hat did place him in Slytherin.

Harry Potter, the son of his mortal nemesis and the woman he loved, was in his house of snakes. That alone was probably enough of a slap in the face of James Potter, but the fact the boy also had an ambition of this size was all the better.

So, instead of insulting and belittling Harry, Severus Snape did something he never thought he would do with a student, least of all the son of the man he hated most. He made a deal.

"If your goal is to be the best then prove it. I will hold you to the highest caliber, I will give you the tools, and I expect you to meet it. If you do not, then you will admit you are a failure." Snape spoke with a sneer. He expected to see some faltering in the eyes of Harry, but there was none to be seen. Instead Harry held out his and stared Snape right in the eyes.

"Deal." The two shook hands, and from the moment forward, Severus Snape, The Half-Blood Prince, was teaching The Bard of Hogwarts.

 _xxxXXXXxxx_

Now, when in the Slytherin Common Room, Harry had one thing to say about it.

Tacky.

He could understand having some of the green and silver that was his house's colors around, but having consume nearly every square inch of the Dungeon? Unnecessary and tacky.

The Slytherin Dungeon looked like they wanted to be the understudies of Dr. Doom, yet lacked the money to throw computer screens everywhere. Now, Harry had nothing against that, in fact Doctor Victor Von Doom was his favorite character in all of comics. The man had ambition, money, magic, knowledge, knew what he was doing, and would not take no for answer. In short everything Harry wanted.

Don't worry though, The Bard made sure to point out that Doom did not use musical instruments and was not an acrobat to prevent Harry from going full Dr. Doom. He kept it at a safe and manageable 75%.

Harry's super villain dreams aside, the whole of the Slytherin Common Room upset Harry's much better fashion sense as he turned to Snape before the man left.

"If I am the one to hire an interior decorator can they come in and fix this place? Cause damn." Snape rudely rolled his eyes at the very legitimate question and twirled his cape as he left the room. Leaving Harry to take in his surroundings.

"Hmm, maybe I should start emulating Doom more." Harry of course meant that he should get absurdly overpowered armor and a badass cloak to match. He did not mean that he was going to build legions of Potter Bots and rule his own country.

Well at least not the Potter Bots thing anyways, ruling a country does sound fun.

"Harry, where have you been? Come on, we were just settling in." Draco called from the stairs leading to the bedrooms. Harry genuinely did not know where the stuff he brought was, and really hoped that it was in a room.

The Bard would have been very, very, pissed if it wasn't. That stuff was not cheap or easy to get. Not the Hogwarts materials, those he didn't care about at all. No the musical instruments and the other magical items Harry 'just had to have' while at school were his concern.

Luckily for Harry, his stuff was in the same room as Malfoy and Blaise Zabini, both of whom were currently writing something down with their quills. Sensing the opportunity for insult Harry stuck like a viper.

And yes, I will be making as many snake jokes as I can.

"Don't tell me you guys keep a diary? What's today's entry? Today I wore a hat that judged me as a person, but it doesn't matter because I will never be as handsomely dressed as Harry Potter." Harry did an exact impression of Draco as he spoke. Both boys stopped writing and glared at their roommate.

"I don't know if I should be impressed about the impression or furious about what you said." Draco admitted as he did not have a coin to flip, unlike Harry.

"I'm just upset." Zabini said with some frustration. Clearly he had fallen on a stick and needed it removed.

"Well then what are you doing?" Harry asked as he went over to where his, thankfully safe, trunk was. Even the dorm room was all green, black, and silver, it was ungodly offensive. Granted all the furniture and the decor was quite nice, lovely in fact, but these Slytherins had apparently not been informed on what a color pallet was.

"Writing home to our families. My father will no doubt not be surprised that I made Slytherin. As for mum? Well I can tell her I made friends with Harry Potter on my first day. You know we actually got some of the money that was meant to be yours, but well...you died." Draco rattled off as Harry opened his trunk to make sure everything was there. Instead of purchasing one of those trunks that had enough room to fit large rooms in, he and The Bard simply lined his with a Bag of Holding. Much more economical sound. Just had to make sure he didn't accidentally make a black hole. That would kill everyone on the planet. That was rather inconvenient and counter productive.

"Speaking of my money, who all got it? I imagine there would've had to have been some kind of family connection in order for that to have happened?" Harry asked as he withdrew a violin. He smiled at his favorite musical instrument, which was followed closely by the erhu. Draco was really liberal about giving away information, surprisingly so.

The boy must have figured he was being impressive. Shame really.

"Oh, well of course. Can't just give something like the Potter fortune away to common rabble. The Malfoy's got some, obviously, thanks to a connection you have with the Black family. Greengrass got a portion due to an old treaty agreement. The Bones family got a bit for, again, another old agreement. And then the rest was taken by the bank." Draco explained. Harry looked off into the distance in contemplation then shrugged. All four were quite easily rob if it came down to that.

"I really hope those agreements aren't still valid." Unfortunately for Harry, Fortuna is a double sided mistress and takes as much as she gives. I will say this though, his face when he found out what the agreements were, priceless. I actually have a picture on my wall.

Good times, good times.

"They shouldn't be, after all you were declared dead. That should have voided any contract or agreement you had." Blaise explained to Harry. It was a shame the boy was a liar, but he didn't know that.

"Well that's good. Last time I had dealings with an old agreement we and my mentor ended up having to ice skate away from a horde of Maori Ice Fairies." Harry was entirely at fault for that particular episode and he knows that.

Draco and Blaise both waited for an elaboration, or at least an acknowledgement of what was said, but they didn't get one. Deciding that pressing that matter would probably just result in a headache, Draco wisely switched topics.

"So, your…..mentor, is he like….your dad or something?" I didn't say he switched topics well, just that he did it.

"Oh no. He does not have it in him to act like a father. Older brother sure, but not a parent. Made growing up with him rather odd. Especially when you never know someone for more than six months before you move." Harry explained The Bard's very aware lack of parenting skills. The Bard tried, and Harry knew that, but he just was not someone who would be called "fatherly". Hell he wasn't even someone who would be called a "good person".

"Oh. So you traveled a lot? Sounds wicked. Ever been to France? My family owns a summer house there we visit." Draco asked/bragged.

"Yeah, I've been to France. Had to leave though, meet some nice girls while I was there though. One of whom we bumped into Canada again and I made a bet with me she will regret making. Well, initially at least." Harry said with a smirk as put away his violin. 11 years old Harry may have been, but he had always been treated as an adult by The Bard, even on matters like sex. So Harry was very aware of it.

The three boys made small talk for the rest of the night as Harry deflected any more questions about his personal life. Blaise was harder to get things out of than Draco, but even then the boy had buttons Harry could push.

 _xxxXXXXxxx_

Now, when Draco Malfoy woke up for his first real day at Hogwarts he was expecting several things.

To make a big impression and show everyone in Slytherin he was top dog.

Convince Harry Potter to reveal more of his backstory, for both entertainment and political reasons.

Have his godfather Snape, gain a leg up on Potions class.

What he was not expecting was to see Harry doing a one armed handstand on the top of the bed post whilst bright, dancing, lights flashed around him and music played softly from a floating violin.

"Bloody Hell, what's going on!?" Draco's surprise was understandable, but still, yelling in the morning is rude.

"Practice." Harry always had difficulty maintaining concentration while casting the more demanding spells The Bards had shown him. Thus, the two came up with this routine for Harry to practice his acrobatics, and to focus on keeping his magic concentrated.

Harry continued his morning practice for another hour, taking a short 5 minutes of rest for every 20 minutes of work.

Eventually stopping, Harry refused to wear his robes to breakfast, as there was no way he was eating the most important meal of the day dressed like a nun. Instead he wore a fashionable silver short sleeve dress shirt, with the Slytherin tie, dark green dress pants, and black wingtip shoes. He figured as long as he was rocking the colors, he didn't have to wear the uniform.

"Hello Harry, sleep well?" Tracey asked as Harry sat between her and Daphne. The Great Hall was mostly empty as a majority of students were still asleep.

"I have found that to be the most suspicious way to ask someone how they slept. It always makes it seem like they did something." Harry said as bacon and eggs appeared before him.

"...I think that might just be paranoia." Tracey said as she looked at Daphne, who nodded in agreement.

"Probably, but paranoia can be a good thing. Then again, the last person who asked The Bard that tried poisoning him in his sleep. It didn't work and he had to drown the person in a toilet. It just happens." Harry totally just admitted to being raised by a murder in front of all his friends.

"What! No, that does not just happen. Who's The Bard anyways? The guy who raised you?" Tracey exclaimed. Harry, sensing this was one of the "Don't be a rat moments", acted accordingly.

"I don't know what you're talking about." He said with a sip of whatever was in his mug. It tasted like pumpkin and it was rather disturbing.

"The Bard, the guy you just mentioned."

"I didn't say nothing about nobody."

"Yes you did."

"You a cop?"

"What? No."

"Then don't worry about it." Harry dismissed his friends concern in the way he was taught.

Finishing breakfast Harry accompanied his friends to their first class, and one he was rather excited for. Largely in part due to the previous night.

Potions.


	3. Chapter 3

_Disclaimer: I don't own either Dungeons and Dragons or Harry Potter_

 _AN: Made some edits._

Potions, in Harry and The Bard's not so humble opinions, was a class that had potential to be the most important class at Hogwarts, yet lacked the kick in the educative gears to get it turning.

Bewitch the mind? Ensnare the sense? Bottle fame and brew glory? Harry could do these things with his voice alone, but everyone else? They should have payed attention in class.

But put a stopper on death? Now Harry could not do that. Yet anyways.

The Bard certainly could, Necromancy was a very fun thing. You would be surprised at how much family would pay you to put their loved ones back into the grave after you resurrected them. How hindsight blurs the realities that was, and makes you remember all the reasons you miss someone, and not why you were glad they bit the big one.

But my Tuesdays aside, potions class was always viewed quite drastically from house to house in Hogwarts.

Gryffindor hated the class because Snape liked to play favorites.

Slytherin loved the class because Snape like to play favorites.

Ravenclaw was indifferent because they were not either Snape's favorite or least favorite.

Hufflepuff? See above.

Now Snape was true to his word, something Harry was slightly shocked at and made him reconsider the earlier assessment of him being a prick. It was reconsidered and the label of prick would stay until further notice.

But as I was saying, Snape upheld his side of the deal. While all the other students, of both the lion and snake variety, made a simple Cure for Boils potion, Harry was given the task of making a Forgetfulness Potion. This was not missed by the other students as Harry's fellow snakes wondered why Snape was giving him a potion that was considered for the end of year exam, while the Gryffindor students, barring one girl who seemed like she wanted the same opportunity, did not care.

Now Harry was not upstream without a paddle. He did possess some pre existing knowledge of potion, mostly poisons…...you can problem infer as to why. But he was given the ingredients he needed and a very large tome filled with the basics of potion making.

And with that, the challenge was afoot. Would Harry fail on his day and have to admit to the creepy Head of House Severus Snape? Or would Harry's keen and observant mind, combined with being a jack of all trades, carry him to victory?

As the classroom hours passed Harry figured out how to make the potion, and realized he did have the ability to do this. He was just hard pressed for time as finding the right recipe had taken longer than expected, and the potions brew time was more demanding than the Cure for Boils.

Class was nearly over as the students began handing in their work. Snape oversaw each potion and already could tell the failures from the successes. The man may not be the most likeable person in the world, but he was very good at his craft.

Which is why when Harry handed in a completed Forgetfulness Potion, and one with no problems with it at initial glance, Snape raised an eyebrow.

"The brewing was taking a little long so I gave it some helpful words and it clearly appreciated it." Harry explained. By "helpful words" Harry meant he did some quick mental math on heat to not messing up the potion ratio, and cast the spell _Prestidigitation_ to add increased heat to the potion. In essence, he super cooked the potion while stirring. Cheating? Yes. But the potion was done, which is what the task was.

"Hmmm, I suppose this is passable. Loath as I am to admit it, you did a good job even. Guess you aren't quite as arrogant as I expected." Snape said as he looked over the potion.

"Oh no, even more so actually. But I'll take the praise as my ego can always use the inflation. Have a nice day professor." Harry gave a two fingered wave as he went towards his next class. Snape watched Harry leave with a sneer as the last comments from the Potter boy made him want to take back the praise.

Sadly, at least for Harry, the rest of his classes all treated him as a first year student and as such, he was not treated to any kind of challenge or difficult task. Charms were fun though, Defense Against the Dark Arts? Not so much.

Which truly was a pity. One would figure a class about learning how to fight evil forces would be badass, however the professor was a git. Oh the stories surrounding him sounded very interesting, receiving a turban from an African Prince for defeating a zombie, encountering vampires, and running into a hag.

All had the makings for a good story, yet the man behind them was a stuttering, panicky, failure.

I of course speak of Quirinus Quirrell, Professor of The Dark Arts.

Harry could tell something was wrong as soon as he stepped into the class, largely in part due to his scar hurting whenever Quirrell looked at him. Now here is some advice for all you prospective Dark Lords out there, DON'T CONSTANTLY GIVE YOUR NEMESIS IDEAS ON YOUR LOCATION!

I am aware that there is some cosmic force embedded into every villain out there that makes them want to taunt and belittle their foes, regardless of risk, but don't do it every single time you see them. Another thing, if they have some form of mark left by you, like oh I don't know, a lightning bolt shaped scar, don't attack that part of their body.

It lets them know what's up.

"Hey guys, do you get headaches whenever Quirrell looks at you?" Harry asked Daphne and Tracey as they sat next to him.

"Um, no. Why?" Daphne asked as she now watched Quirrell with suspicion.

"Oh you know, just because everytime the guy looks at me my scar burns." Harry tried not to be an ass about it, but the burning was now getting annoying.

"Odd. Wait, isn't that the scar you got from…..you-know-who?" Tracey whispered with slight fear in her voice.

"Actually I don't know who, so please enlighten me." Harry replied. The Bard had mentioned Harry's parents death, in fact when in Mexico they had to deal with a particular situation with that. But bringing up Voldemort? Never happened. There just was never the need.

"You-know-who. The one who gave you the scar?" Daphne added with some disbelief over Harry not knowing who Voldemort was.

"I am aware that the person who killed my parents gave me the scar, but not on what his name was. So please be dears and tell me."

"Lord Voldemort." Daphne whispered in an almost unhearable voice as her eyes darted around the room.

"Voldemort?" Harry asked much louder. Most of the class stiffened as they turned to see who said the taboo. Seeing Harry being shushed by Tracey they also looked very unnerved by the saying of Voldemort.

"What? All I said was Voldemort, what kind of name is Voldemort anyways?" Harry continued to cause mass grief.

"Stop saying his name!" Daphne told Harry with haste.

"Why? Is he like Beetlejuice where he appears if you say his name three times? If so I have some beef with him we need to sort out." Harry dismissed their paranoia,

"No, it's just taboo. A lot of people died during his rise to power and the fear still remains." Tracey explained. She honestly was wondering if Harry was crazy, just throwing the Dark Lord's name out like nothing.

"That's….really a dumb reason. Hell mine made more sense and it was a movie joke." Harry's scar began to burn again as Quirrell glared hard at him. Finally getting fed up he spoke out.

"Alright can you not? Like focus on not stuttering like a moron and actually get through five words instead of constantly looking at me. Bloody git." Needless to say, Harry's words were received with shocked looks and he was asked to leave the classroom. Well actually he was told he had detention, but he decided leaving the class was the appropriate response.

Now being finished with his classes, Harry made his way towards the Headmaster's office since apparently he was to report to Dumbledore.

 _xxxXXXxxx_

Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore had been so ungodly elated when he saw Harry Potter's name appear on the student registry he actually jumped up and clapped his heels.

I don't know this for a fact, but it's probably what happened.

After all, he did leave an infant Harry on the doorstep, only to find out later it supposedly was carried off by an angel. Naturally he panicked. He had just been the cause of two of his favorite students son's death. If word got out that the Boy-Who-Lived was killed in part due to his incompetence there would be chaos.

And so when he saw Harry was alive, and coming to his school, there was elation in the Headmaster.

Then the boy showed up. He was not at all what Albus had been expecting, even though he had no idea what to expect. But the sight of the son of James and Lily Potter as a cocky, brash, rude, and charismatic Slytherin was not easily digested.

He had hoped to have a conversation with Harry to see what he had been doing, and where he had been for the last 9 years.

Seeing the gargoyle staircase for his office descend to let someone in, it occurred to Dumbledore that he had not given Harry the password. With that as the case, he had his first question when Harry, who was not in robes; but some manner of muggle clothing with Slytherin colors, walked up to his desk.

"Ah, Harry. I'm so glad you could make it, though I don't recall giving you the password. Would you care for a Lemon Drop?" He asked the boy. Harry sat down across from the Headmaster and surveyed the room. It had some cool stuff in it, like a phoenix, but the rest was crap. He was the Headmaster for a school of wizards, have some golems standing in the background, a collection of sentient weapons, a set of magical tomes thought lost to time, but there was none of that.

"You didn't, and no thanks. I learned the don't take candy from strangers lesson the hard way." And no, Harry was fondled in a white van, he was taken by some mafiosos who had beef with The Bard. 5 hours, and 50 previously breathing corpses later, all was well. Though Harry did not trust free sample merchants ever again. And oddly developed a dislike for the banquet company Joe's Flowers.

"Oh? A lesson not instructed to you by…..whom ever raised you. And while on the subject, where have you been these past years my boy?" Dumbledore asked in his kind old man voice. Harry raised his eyebrow as he started to suspect that this meeting was going to be revolving around his past. Something he didn't feel the need to share.

"Around. Not that it matters." Harry responded as he braced for the back and forth when dealing with interrogations.

"Oh but it does matter Harry. Your relatives must have been quite distraught when you were taken, as was the entire wizarding world. I should have had better oversight on that night." Dumbledore spoke solemnly.

"First, I doubt it, second also doubt it, and third yeah, what did you think would happen?" Harry addressed each of the Headmaster's points.

"Oh but I have no doubts your relatives will be most relieved to learn of your survival, and that you will be staying with them this summer." Harry, upon hearing this, laughed his ass off. Dumbledore watched as Harry nearly fell out of his seat from the sheer suggestion he would be going to live with his relatives.

"Oh man, that's funny Headmaster." Harry said as he wiped his eyes.

"I'm glad you find it amusing, however I do still insist you stay at your relatives for the summer. It is for your own safety." Harry laughed even more at that.

"Safe, huh? I can tell you, Headmaster, that no one is safe around me. Besides, I already have plans for the summer." That was a lie, but he doubted that Dumbledore would notice that it was unless he used some form of mind reading. Which was not a very good idea.

"No one is safe around you? Harry my boy, who have you been with all this time? And what are these plans of yours?"

"It's honestly for the best that you, or anyone else here for that matter, do not put concern into who I am with. As for the plans? Japan, some old friends offered to host us since I need to complete some of my studies there." Harry lied smooth as butter. Though, going to Japan did not seem like the worst idea, in fact he would probably message The Bard latter on about returning. It had been a while since the whole yakuza incident so they should be fine.

"Hmm I see, well I still must insist upon returning to the Dursley's for the summer, they are what remains of your family after all. But alas I can not force you to. And if you don't, and end up going to Japan, would you be so kind as to do an old man a favor and bring me back some candies? You would be surprised at how hard it is, even in the magical world, to get Soda Candies. Quite the travesty." Now back in my day, which don't worry about how long ago that was, when old men obsessed over candy, they were usually pedophiles. Not saying that Dumbledore was, but he does spend a lot of time around children, just food for thought.

"More of a Botan Rice Candy man myself, but I'll see what I can do. Now is that all?" Harry asked as he started to get out of his seat. Dumbledore held up a finger and reached into his desk, removing a large stack of paperwork.

"The Ministry has sent over forms that need to filled out as to have you not declared deceased anymore. I was, for a short time, your magical guardian. However, present circumstances have removed me from such a position so I can't fill these out for you. If you desire that fixed all you have to do is ask." Dumbledore said with a smile. Harry had a counter offer though.

"Can we actually just keep me dead? At least, bureaucratically speaking. It makes my life so much easier."

"I'm afraid due to your popularity, that may not be the best course of action."

"Ok, new plan, I'll just fill the forms out. Wouldn't be the first time I've been tossed into the gears of bureaucracy." Harry mumbled to himself as he took the large pile of papers.

Now, you may be asking yourself, "But Bard, why would Harry waste his time with trivial things like that?" To you I say, he faked the shit out of them.

One, of a great many, positives of constantly being involved in the workings of shady criminals, was learning the art of forgery. At a glance, and even a medium level look, which is all anyone ever did, Harry's papers were completely legit. An in depth analysis though? He was just as "dead" as the day he vanished. It was fun being a ghost in the eyes of the law, made any and all legal proceedings an incredible hassle.

And so with goodbye Harry left the Headmaster's office and decided to pace around the school for a while. Get a lay of the land so to speak. In hindsight, it was one of the best decision he ever made.

Walking passed a corridor near the Hufflepuff dorms Harry could hear the sounds of two people talking. One guy, one girl. Bards, being the most gossipy people on the planet, natural liked to eavesdrop. This was no exception.

"I can't believe you're breaking up with me!" The male voice cried out. Harry smiled widely from around the corner as he listened. He had struck gold.

"What did you think I was going to do!? You were cheating on me with that cow Mary!" The female yelled back.

"I was not! She was just….short on breath so I was doing CPR." Harry shook his head at the worst lie you can use in that situation.

The argument progressed, getting more and more heated with the girl clearly in the right as far as this argument went. This relationship was clearly a goner. But the final nail in the coffin was when the male responded with a, "You're over reacting, and you need to calm down."

Harry counted down the seconds till the slap occurred. He guessed 3, it happened in 2.5, so he was almost there the guess.

Hearing the footsteps of the male getting close Harry hid himself from sight as the idiot passed. He stuck around to hear how the girl was going to handle this situation.

When he heard the sniffles start and the woman's footsteps start to walk away, Harry decided that he should be the gentleman and go cheer up the lady. Wasn't he a nice guy?

 _xxxXXXxxx_

Nymphadora Tonks had been in some pretty bad relationships.

You see, when you were a metamorphmagus, a shape shifter of a sort, your boyfriends tended to want you to look however they wanted. It was something she had to deal with in every relationship she had been in and now she was sick of it. She normally held back any tears from the break ups, as they had been well deserved, but this last one was the crack that broke the dam.

She had thought he was different, but as it turns out, he was just using her like the rest of them. Finding a solitary courtyard, Tonks sat down on a bench and let the tears flow. She knew she should be stronger than this, she wanted to become an Auror for heaven's sake! But here she was, alone, in a courtyard at 8 o'clock at night.

"Why does this always happen?" She meant to just ask allowed to no one in particular. But, and much to her surprise, someone answered.

"I think it's in large part to men not understanding how to behave." A young male voice said from behind her. Turning with extreme speed she saw the one, the only, Harry Potter. He was standing in the courtyard with her, wearing some quite fashionable clothing, and holding a large stack of papers.

"What are you doing here?" Tonks asked as she quickly wiped away the tears.

"Well I was just wandering around and heard the sounds of a beautiful woman crying tears of sadness and not joy or laughter, so naturally, I came to help in whatever way I could." Harry said as walked closer to Tonks.

"Yeah well, unless you can make guys not be assholes, there isn't much you will be able to do." She told him as he sat the large stack of papers down on the ground and pointed to the spot next to her, asking silent permission to sit. Granting it, Tonks moved over and allowed the dashing young first year next to her to sit.

"Well, there are plenty of ways to do that, most are considered unethical, but there are ways. But thinking that's the only solution is a sad use of imagination, after all they say laughter is the best medicine. And of that doesn't work, well revenge exists for a reason." And with that Harry flicked his wrist cast _Prestidigitation_ again, calling forth an invitation to a party. Looking at Harry with a raised eyebrow, as wandless and silent casting was quite advanced for someone who was in their first year, she listened as Harry read from the invite.

"Dear Sir or Madam, You are cordially invited to a party that is quite likely going to be killer. The food and drink will be to die for and the liquor will knock the life right out of you. Do RSVP soon, as the invites are in short supply, and the parking will be murder. Signed, Morticia Addams. Hmmm now I don't know about you, but that invite seems to have so subliminal messaging in it, no?" Harry asked with a smile.

"Hmmm, I don't know, maybe I can give that invite to my ex." Tonks said as she began to wonder more about Harry Potter.

"Ah, as fun as that may be, sadly the invite goes away in 3,2, and 1." On cue the invitation vanished from existence.

"Well damn, there go my plans for revenge." Tonks mumbled to herself.

"Oh, pssh, murder is hardly a form of revenge. Simply killing someone does not necessarily mean they are going to suffer like you want them to, oh now what you have to do is crush them psychologically." Harry gleefully said with a smile, as Tonks started to get why he was put into Slytherin.

"I was just going to hex him into oblivion, but crushing him psychologically works too."

"That's the spirit. Now hold on a sec, if we are going to do this, we are going to do this right." Harry stood and drew his wand as he recalled one of the spells he saw from his books.

" _Accio Violin_ " With the flick of the wrist and a short few seconds later Harry held his Bardic toll. Asking Tonks to pull some paper from her book bag Harry began to conspire a nasty little form of revenge with Tonks' help.

Using the spell _Illusionary Script_ , which allows for only select individuals to see what was written, the two composed a love letter to her ex under the guise it was from Mary's, the girl he cheated on Tonks with, much hotter, younger sister. Harry explained how the spell worked and that only her ex would be able to read it, everyone else would just see a letter from home.

As the two plotted, or as Harry plotted, and Tonks fed him info the two had a very lovely back and forth discussing various things about their lives. Harry told many stories, all of which absurd yet true, as Tonks tried to call him out on each one, but was proven wrong.

What seemed like hours passed as the Harry finished explaining the extent of his dastardly plan to his new friend Tonks.

"You know Tonks, you are quite the lovely girl, I have a hard time believing anyone would not consider you a catch." Harry said as he wrapped up the last bit of the love letter.

"Yeah well, when you're a metamorphmagus people tend to want you to be what they want, regardless of how you feel about it." Tonks said sadly.

"A what?"

"Metamorphmagus. I can change how I look." As she explained she turned her short pink hair into long flowing blonde. Harry nodded in understanding and then pointed off in the distance with a shocked look.

"What's that!" Tonks whirled to see what caught her new friend's attention. Seeing nothing but the moon she wondered what he was talking about.

"Harry I don't see a thing."

"Oh, my bad then." A very familiar sounding feminine voice came from behind her. It sounded familiar because it was her own voice. Turning back around she saw an exact copy of her standing where Harry had been.

"You're a metamorphmagus too!?" Tonks cried out in surprise. She had never met another one like her before. Harry however shook his head no.

"Nah, it's a little Bard trick called _Alter Self_. But it acts very similar." Harry Tonks said as he/she closed the letter in an envelope.

"A little Bard trick? Harry, you just shapeshifted, how is that not a big thing?"

"In all honesty I can do more, but I'm still nowhere near as powerful as The Bard. He can do some ridiculous shit." If Harry was referring to the resurrection, time stop, or meteor storm spells, The Bard chose to plead the 5th.

"The Bard?" Tonks asked with a raised eyebrow. Tonks Harry nodded and reverted back to normal Harry as he looked over the violin.

"Yeah, The Bard. He's my mentor, though I'm telling you this in confidence ok? Don't be a rat." Tonks nodded as the two sat back down to talk before they had to return to their dorms.

"So Tonks, what do you want out of the world?"

"Oh geez, thats a big question. Uhh, I guess what everyone wants, adventure, excitement, to feel important…..to feel loved. That's why I want to be an Auror." She spoke softly. Harry smiled widely and stood to face Tonks.

"Well, Miss Tonks, I have heard your request and I shall get back to you on if we have any open spots. In the meantime, make sure your ass of an ex gets that letter, and let me know when you wish to rain more psychological torment down on the poor bastard." Harry had the smuggest smile as he waved goodbye to a confused Tonks.

The Bard would later wonder why the hell Harry was just inviting along random women to go with them to Japan, which they were now apparently doing. Harry though, said he wanted to bring Tonks along because A. She was a "cool cat" and B. Because while they were talking he gave the Coin of Fortuna and Metis a flip when asked the same question and Fortuna's head came up.

The last reason alone was enough for The Bard to say yes.


	4. Chapter 4

_Disclaimer: I don't own D &D or Harry Potter_

Ever since Harry aided Tonks in the form of the psychological manipulation and eventual torment of her ex the two became fast friends. The two would meet up after their classes as Harry would tell her stories from his many adventures with The Bard, leaving out most of the ones that were more along the lines of assassination than whimsical adventure.

Friends they may be, but when Tonks informed him of her plans to become one of the magical worlds equivalents of Johnny Law, he figured giving her a rap sheet of him and The Bard was not a good idea. But thankfully she never asked about the things he would leave out, more than satisfied with the other aspects of the stories.

Oddly enough she really wanted to see some Faerie Dragons when she heard about the little fuckers. Apparently having an house cat sized dragon with butterfly wings that had magic powers and a knack for mischief was her thing. Perhaps the fact that Harry left out the part about the being invisible most of the time, and _really_ liked tying your shoelaces together as you walked played a part in that.

Don't get me wrong, the little buggers are quite friendly and are fairly easy to bribe with sweets, but damn if they aren't annoying at first. Harry has, in fact, lost no more than 20 pairs of socks to those things. While this sounds very minor I want you to think about all the times you have either lost a sock for a pair, or for those of you who own cats, when they steal them.

You're not getting it back is the point. And when fashion is as big of a deal as it is to The Bard and Harry, that matters quite substantially. But I'm ranting, you all could care less about the inconveniences of life, you just want to hear the astounding tale of the great Harry Potter.

Honestly Harry didn't understand her want of the "bloody fucking troll geckos" as The Bard so elegantly described the Faerie Dragons. But never the less he made a mental note to show Tonks one of them when she joined him on his trip to Japan. She hadn't said yes yet, but she would. The possibilities for adventure and the chance to meet the man who taught Harry would consume her.

Returning to his dormitory after hanging out with Tonks, and her showing him what the game of wizard chess was. Which was sadly not filled with minor spells being shot by the pieces, but instead just a lazy man's version of actual chess (Needless to say Harry won all 6 games they played. Tonks was a little miffed at this, member of Slytherin Harry may be, but still having an 11 year old beat you in chess 6 times was embarrassing.) Harry opened the door to the common room and saw that Tracey and Daphne were waiting for him.

"Hey girls." Harry greeted with a cocky smile and a wink.

"Don't 'hey girls' us Potter! You know what you did! And we won't forgive you until you help us with something!" Tracey accused Harry of something. Daphne nodded behind her friend as both gave Harry the 'you know what you've done' glare.

"...I genuinely don't. But clearly you're upset so I take full responsibility, and now ask how can I make it better." Harry's response both upset and pleased the girls as they had planned to use whatever Harry had done as leverage. But seeing as Harry was always such a sucker for the ladies, that was not necessary.

You may be wondering what Harry did that upset Tracey and Daphne so. Well….I can't tell you. Since Harry genuinely had no idea what he did that set them off, I have no idea what set them off. And by the end of the whole shebang that followed the two girls felt that bringing it up again was not needed. So just fill the gap yourselves. I've just been assuming he did a panty raid.

"Well you see, Malfoy was running his mouth at some Gryffindors and as a result they challenged him to a magic duel in the third floor Trophy Room. Malfoy does not plan on going, but since we were there as well we got included in the duel. Now we're all for having the Lions get caught by Finch for being up after curfew, but the Slytherins house honor is at stake. And we won't have a bunch of blood traitors and mudbloods tarnish that name." Daphne informed Harry of the situation.

One thing Harry learned rather quickly about his fellow house mates was something of a red flag. They were all magical neo-nazi's! Yeah, put a real damper on the living arrangements when you would accidentally set off a roommate and he would in turn rant about a Final Solution. Needless to say Harry began to limit his relations in his house to just Daphne, Tracey, and his roommates. Shady individual he may be, but nazi he was not.

Reasons for those four were as follows; Tracey and Daphne were both hot and he felt like he could probably sway them away from the ideals of the Third Reich. Draco and Blaise; proximity but he felt less confident in ousting their blood supremacist tendencies. Though blaise did not like anyone, like at all, so actually maybe he could.

"So you want me to take Draco's place in this duel? By the way I can almost guarantee when you say duel, the same things are not being thought between us. So what is a magical duel?" Harry asked as he leaned on the wall nearby.

"Exactly. And a magical duel is when two parties fight to either the disarm or unconsciousness using only their magical prowess. So you shouldn't have a problem, though I would refrain from using that ice knife spell of yours. Wouldn't want to get expelled for severely injuring a student would you?" Daphne explained with a sly smirk. The gears in Harry's head began to turn as he quickly figured why they really wanted him in the duel as opposed to another member of their house.

"You just want to see what all I can do. You don't actually care about the duel, this is just a chance to gain info on me. I respect that, though for future reference you may want to refrain from trying to lead the conversation like that. The ice knife comment gave it away." Harry said with a smirk as he winked at Daphne. The Greengrass heiress rolled her eyes and huffed at being found out.

"I'll make note of that. But just so you know Harry, I do care about the house honor and reputation, so I would be asking you to do this anyways. It's just getting to see more of you is an added bonus."

"Oh you can see more of me whenever you like Daphne, all you have to do is ask. Same for you Tracey. After all what boy would dare to resist the charms of two lovely beauties such as yourselves? " The smug smile on Harry's face showed his amusement as he caused the two girls to fluster at the comment.

"Trophy Room huh? The one on the third floor?" He asked.

"Yes." Daphne answered, upset that Harry's constant flirting with her and Tracey always got to them. She would admit he was good looking, and had the mysterious background, but it would take more than that to sweep her off her feet.

Walking past the girls Harry made his way to a nearby fruit bowl and grabbed three apples. Keep in mind the number of apples, as it is important. Turning to his friends Harry gestured for them to lead the way.

xxxXXXXxxx

"So what's with the apples?" Tracey asked as she and Daphne lead Harry to the Trophy Room. Part of her didn't want to know, out of fear of Harry making some kind of dirty joke, but eventually curiosity won out. As it always did.

"Well I want to make a very memorable first impression on the lions, so I need two apples as sacrifice. The third is cause I'm hungry." He said as he took a bite out of one of the apples, placing the others in his left pocket, the right holding his wand.

"...Do I want to know?"

"Oh you'll see anyways, besides, you two wanted to see more of what I can do." Harry explained.

"We meant magically. I don't see how any apple magic will be helpful in a duel." Daphne muttered, annoyed slightly.

"That's why you're not a Bard." Harry's words had an immense degree of truth in them. The Bard had done more complicated spells with more mundane things than what Harry had planned with the apple. But he was learning, so there was time for growth.

Upon entering the Trophy Room Harry spotted a group of Gryffindor's waiting. He recognized all of them from his potions class.

"Hello Hermione. How are you?" Harry asked as he finished the first apple. She was the only one out of the group he actually gave a damn about. A. Because she had her own cute charm with her bushy hair, and B. She was the only other person in potions who actually tried, aside from the Slytherins but the favoritism from Snape made that obsolete.

Hermione blinked owlishly as she had not expected Harry Potter to be here, or to even know who she was. She had wanted nothing to do with this stupid duel, but Ron had roped Nevile into going, and since she was locked out of the common room, she attended as well. Though Ron said it was against Malfoy.

"Oi! What are you doing here Harry?" One Ronald Weasley asked. The boy had fiery red hair and freckles across his face, he also possessed blue eyes and a long nose. Ron was rather outspoken in his dislike of the House of Snakes, making him and Draco mortal enemies as of day one. Harry was going to answer but Tracey did for him.

"Draco is unavailable for this duel, therefore Harry has agreed to take his place for the defense of House Slytherin." She said in an arrogant tone. Harry looked at her with a raised eyebrow as she was making it seem like he volunteered for this. In all honesty he didn't give a damn about the house dynamics of Hogwarts, but apparently it was a big deal.

"Well then Potter, looks like I have to give you a thrashing. Don't worry though, I'll make sure not to mess up your fancy clothes too much." Ron said as he drew his wand. Harry shot the boy a raised look as he mouthed "A Thrashing".

"The only thing you'll be "thrashing" tonight is little Ron cause you sure as hell aren't beating me." Harry shot back, the insult getting to Ron as the boys ears turned red from anger.

"Oh that does it, draw your wand so I can beat you!" Harry smirked placed his right side forward as he drew _Ironie_ from his pocket. Now came the fun part.

"Did you know Ron, that without mucus your stomach would digest itself?" Harry's words threw Ron off as he was about to cast a spell. The others in the room looked at Harry with curious expressions, wondering where the hell that came from.

"What?" The redhead boy was caught off guard.

"Oh yes, and American Airlines saved 440,000 dollars in 1987 by removing one olive from the in flight salads." Harry was using an old Bard trick, _Cutting Words_. Using their words and wit Bards could confuse, distract, and otherwise sap the confidence out of others. In this instance Harry was spewing random facts to distract Ron from casting any spells.

"Also, 70% percent of Americans have been to either Disney World or Disney Land. More partial to World myself." Again, Harry's words were distracting from the fight as he reached into his left pocket to grab an apple.

"Last one, I promise. Did you know that an apple launched at fast speeds when connecting with a male crotch results in game over?" With that Harry cast _Catapult_ on the apple as it shot forward connecting with an unprepared Ron's crotch. Neville flinched as the apple exploded on impact, sending Harry's opponent to the floor in a heap of pain and sadness.

The duel, the last thing in Ronald's mind right now, was over as Harry walked up and grabbed the boy's wand from the floor. Turning back to Daphne and Tracey, both of whom had looks of surprise, Harry spoke.

"That's why you never underestimate apple magic. And I win." Harry handed Hermione Ron's wand and gave the girl a wink as he walked back over to his housemates.

"I-...Bu-...What was that!?" Daphne yelled. She had wanted to get some info on Harry's magical insight, but not that he could nut punch you with an apple.

"Since you seemed distressed your plan fell apart I'll help you out. I fight dirty. Like all the time. I have never once fought in a fair fight, as a result I end things quickly. Case in point with Ron's now swollen apples." Harry joked as Ron moaned out in pain again. Honestly though, who could blame him?

"Who's in here! Its past curfew and students shall be punished!" The voice of one Argus Filch came from the far end of the Trophy Room. They could see Filch's cat Mrs. Nora hastily bounding towards them.

Acting quickly Harry enacted his own secret plan, one that included everyone present.

"Quick guys, I know a path that we can use to get to the main stairs!" Harry lied as he used the others want of not being busted to achieve his own agenda. With Neville helping Ron to his feet Harry hurriedly led the group to one locked door, that was swiftly opened with _Alohomora._

The group took shelter behind the door as they hid from Filch and his terror cat. Now, Harry new damn well where they were. The rest of the students? Not so much.

That being the case when the group turned around and saw a rather large three headed dog they kinda panicked. Their loud gasps woke the dog as it began to snarl and drool from all three mouths. Having his last trusty apple, Harry put it to good use.

"Fetch boy!" Harry said as he threw the fruit past the dog heads, using another spell known as _conjure barrage_. The one apple turned into about thirty as the heads began to eat the horde of fruit gifted to them.

Using the distraction to escape the group made a hasty retreat from the room.

"The bloody hell was that!" Tracey said as she collected herself.

"I believe that was another reason to respect apple magic."

"Harry now is not the time for snide comments!" Hermione chidded.

"Oh that's where you're wrong, there is always time for snide comments."

"Harry's ill timed jokes aside, why is there a bloody three headed dog in the school?" Daphne wondered aloud as she looked back to the door.

"I don't know, but it was standing on something, a trap door from the looks of it." Hermione answered. The house rivalry temporarily forgotten amongst the group.

"What do you think it's guarding? What could be so important that Dumbledore would place a Cerberus in the school itself? Is this why he warned us at the beginning of the year?" Harry began to not so subtly direct the lines of thought of the others as all was going according to plan.

He just needed one little push to get the ball rolling, and then he would have a group of adventurers to head into the Cerberus guarded trap door, and thus gain his first solo experience as a Bard in training.

"Hmm, well whatever it is it's not our business. I mean if Dumbledore did put that beast there, then it was for good reason and we shouldn't have been up after curfew nor in a forbidden corridor." Hermione burst Harry's adventure bubble as she then went on about returning to their dorms and how she did not want to be killed by the dog, or worse expelled.

"That girl needs to straighten out her priorities." Harry said as he Daphne and Tracey walked back to the Slytherin dorms. Neither girl responded as they then turned and blocked Harry.

"You knew what was up there. That's why you agreed after asking the location isn't." Daphne stated, clearly now aware of her being played by Harry.

"Ooo, 10 points to Miss Greengrass."

"We could have died!" Tracey cried out, clearly upset.

"You were fine, I had an apple." Harry reassured them.

"Oh, so not only did you know about it, you came prepared for it without warning us?" Daphne again accused.

"I wanted to see your reaction to it. And may I say, your faces were absolutely priceless. I wish I had a camera."

"You are absolutely insufferable!" Both yelled.

"Hey now, don't pull the victim card on me, you both tried baiting me into revealing my secrets, you got two so that should be a fair trade."

"Our lives are worth seeing two of your spells? Both involving fruit might I add." Tracey asked angrily as she crossed her arms. Harry conceded the two throwing spells were not worth the lives of two pretty women, so he figured he should make amends.

"Ok, ok. It was wrong of me to manipulate you guys into going into the room. But you were not in danger, I'm more than capable of besting a Cerberus. But still, you guys are my friends and I should have clued you into what I was doing so how bout this. I will show you both one more spell, no gags with fruit, an actual useful spell." Harry spoke, using actual solemn in his voice.

The two girls looked at each other, still quite upset at Harry, but figured they should give him a shot to make it up.

"Ok, lets see this spell." Daphne said. Harry kinda hated what he was about to do since they were his friends, but it would help them so much better in the long run.

"This spell is called _Suggestion_. And it goes like so." Casting the spell with a whistle Harry then charmed both girls. The spell, causes the target, in this case targets, to follow through with whatever action is stated, so long as it is reasonable and the suggestion ends when 8 hours is up.

"Think long and hard on whether or not you believe in pureblood ideal yourselves, and not because you were raised that way. Keep in mind I am not a pureblood, nor is a majority of the world." Both girls eyes glossed over as they began a lengthy 8 hour soul search on if they had it in them to be neo-nazi's.

The entire walk back Harry was uncharacteristically quiet. Sure what he did was seen by the better amount of people as a good thing, but they were still his friends and he was forcing them to change when they possibly weren't ready for it. But what was done is done.

Flipping his coin, Harry stared as the side of Fortuna appeared, hopefully as a sign he did the right thing. Sighing to himself he bade his female friends a good night, as they would have much to reconsider.

Upon entering his dorm he found Draco still awake, reading an old tome on pureblood families.

"How did the duel go?" He asked not looking up.

"Magically hurled an apple into his balls." Harry said as he sprawled across his bed. Draco squirmed a bit and crossed his legs from the phantom pain of that act.

"Ouch. Wouldn't say I would have done the same, but it works."

"You wouldn't have shown up in the first place."

"This is true. Not my fault Weasley too stupid to realize I'm not dumb enough to have a duel after curfew in one of the first room Flich checks." Draco said smugly as he turned a page.

"He's not the brightest tool in the shed that's for sure, but he seems like a decent enough guy, or could be if he would think things through."

"Tch, he's a blood-traitor, nothing decent about that lot." Draco sneered. Harry sighed as he debated on chewing Draco out for that way of thinking, but he had a better idea. He would tell a story.

"I've heard several people around here use that work before. You guys don't know what it means. Not really."

"What, blood-traitor? How do you figure that?" Draco asked curiously as he sat down the book.

"The word traitor. You guys use it because some other purebloods don't line up with your philosophy. That's not a traitor. Let me tell you what a traitor is." Harry began his story.

"When I was 9 me and The Bard were in Egypt, he was teaching me about the Books of the Dead and the wide variety of spells written on them to help people through the afterlife. Now most of the ones that have been recovered are fairly basic in terms of spell and as such not really worth anything. But there was one The Bard had found out about still buried in a lost tomb, more than likely guarded by the mummy inside still."

"The Bard had a friend there, a Mr. Ra, as he liked to be called. Mr. Ra was in the same line of work as The Bard, which is something I won't go into, aside from that they do bad things. Now, Mr. Ra also had an 10 year old daughter, Amisi; or flower. She had hair blonde the sands that surrounded her, eyes blue like the Mediterranean, her skin a perfect tan. She was my first crush, and one of my best friends at the time, we would sneak out into the city and stare at the Pyramids built thousands of years ago. Well one day, Mr. Ra and The Bard found the exact burial site for the book and we were to set out the next morning. Here's the thing, it was just supposed to be me, The Bard, and Mr. Ra. No Amisi."

"Amisi was having none of that though, she begged with me until I would turn her invisible so she could come along with. Eventually she wore me down and so she secretly tagged along as we sat off into the desert. A long trek made short, we got to the place and found the lost tomb. The mummy inside though? Apparently he was a real baddy back in the day, was banned from ever entering the afterlife by Anubis, forever damned to his tomb."

"Upon entering the tomb, things went bad really quickly, I don't remember exactly how it happened, but as The Bard was fighting the mummy me and Amisi got separated from the group. I did what I could to combat the traps, disarming dart launchers, dodging and weaving through pendulum blades. But eventually I took a nasty hit from a dart and was slowly losing consciousness. Amisi refused to leave me though, saying friends stood by each other no matter what. I thought I was dying so, I told her how I felt. She actually returned the feelings, and for a brief second there we shared a kiss. Tch, an 9 and 10 year old sharing a kiss in an ancient pyramid because they thought they were going to die, how sad."

"But then, her dad came in, blew a hole in the wall just to get to us. He had the book and said that The Bard was still fighting the mummy and we had to leave after grabbing more of the treasure. When he saw the condition I was in though, he made his true nature know. He pulled a gun on me and said that after the mummy killed The Bard, I would be the only loose end and he didn't want to share any glory with a 9 year old. Amisi stood in front of me though saying how she wouldn't let him kill me. That bastard didn't even hesitate to shoot her, saying that he could always have another child, one that wouldn't fall for "some British green eyed pretty boy"."

"That was the first day I ever killed someone. Seeing Amisi die by being shot by her own father set me off in a rage. I conjured that same ice knife I threatened you with and threw it into that fuckers neck. As he collapsed to the ground I took the gun from him and fired the remaining round into his corpse, cursing him to hell with each shot. The Bard eventually found me after he defeated the mummy and we collected Amisi's body. We left her father's to rot in the sands, to be forgotten by time again."

"So that Draco is what a traitor is. Not someone who holds a different view than you, but someone who would kill all those close to them in exchange for something as trivial as power." Harry finished as he went to sleep. Leaving Draco to his thoughts.

xxxXXXxxx

Eventually Hallowe'en approached and all of Hogwarts was excited. But one person in particular was far more panicky than everyone else.

"Merlin Harry would you stop pacing. You're making me think the dark lord himself might comeback." Tonks tried to calm Harry as the two hung out in the same courtyard they met in in.

"I can't Tonks, do you know what tomorrow is?!" Harry was very close to losing his shit.

"Uhh….November 1st?" She asked hesitantly,

"Exactly! It's All Saints Day! That means she will be coming and I'll have to explain why I'm here and why the room is a mess cause my roommates don't clean for shit. Oh geez, I'll have to explain why most of my friends are very hot women…...actually no that one I don't. But she will want to meet you. Ah fuck she will want to meet everyone won't she." Harry further panicked.

"Harry who will want to meet us?" Tonks asked wondering why her firstie was freaking out.

"My mom."


	5. Chapter 5

_Disclaimer: I don't own D &D or Harry Potter_

Nymphadora Tonks looked slack jawed at the first year Slytherin she had come to call friend. He had just explained that the reason for the uncharacteristic stress was that his mother was visiting Hogwarts. The thing was though, Harry Potter was The-Boy-Who-Lived, neither of his parents had survived the attack from Voldemort all those years ago.

And yet despite this, Harry was claiming his mom was to visit.

'He must have meant someone else.' She thought.

"Your mother? As in a woman you met who is like a mother figure?" Tonks asked carefully, not wanting to bring up what must have been bad memories involving his birth parents. Harry stopped pacing across the garden walk way of the courtyard the two always met in and tilted his head at Tonks.

"No….while I did have some of those, they are otherwise indisposed with their own lives or dead at the present."

"So you mean your birth mom?" She asked again slowly.

"...Yes?" Harry asked just as slowly, wanting to see what Tonks was getting at.

"Isn't she…..well….you know….." Tonks trailed off not wanting to bring it up.

"Passed on, is no more, has ceased to be, expired and gone to meet her maker, is a late person, is a stiff, bereft of life, rests in peace, pushing up daisies, run down the curtain and joined the choir invisible, is an ex person?" Harry rattled off may euphemisms for kicking the bucket. The sarcastic nature Harry dealt with the topic seemed to ease Tonks, as clearly he was over it.

"Well, yes, that."

"Indeed she is, though I love her all the same." Harry replied as he sat down next to his friend. He could feel the question dam about to rupture and he was preparing the life raft that was a story. I don't know why I used that analogy, though everything is kinda loopy at the moment. A nice old man offered me some mushrooms, and who am I to turn down hospitality like that?

"That's good. But umm, how is she visiting if she is...gone?"

"You can say dead Tonks."

"I know, but you're eleven and talking about your dead mom visiting, and I don't want to break your heart by telling you she's gone!" Tonks quickly cried out as she put her head in her hands. Honestly out of all the first years she could have met, she just had to meet the crazy one. Because of the way Tonks was sat, she missed the large smile that spread across Harry's face as he leaned in and whispered in her ear.

"But oh, my dear sweet Tonks. My heart yearns everyday it is not held by you. The only thing you could do to break my heart would be to wisp away into the night forever, leaving me without the warmth of your charm."

Harry full expected the slap to the back of the head Tonks gave him, but the redness of her face was all the sign he needed to say he won that round.

"I'm sure you get all the ladies with lines like that Potter." She said jokingly as Harry rubbed the back of his head.

"Sadly, the ladies I interact with have since come to expect my charms. That or they're nowhere near my level of maturity." Tonks let out a single laugh at that.

"Your level of maturity? Jeez the firsties this year must be like 5 year olds then if they aren't anywhere near 'your level of maturity'". Harry looked at Tonks, an aghast expression across his face.

"Dear beloved Tonks! Are you insinuating that I am not mature! This as strike against my honor, and I shall not stand for it! I challenge you my good lady!" Harry jumped up on the bench, extravagantly pointing down at Tonks. The purple haired Hufflepuff was riffed with giggles as the over dramatics of her friend tended to get to her. This was not the first time she had "insulted his honor", so the two had come up with a back and forth they would have. Rising to her feet equally as dramatically, Tonks stared down at Harry with a mock look of intensity.

"Challenge me do you good sir!? I shall have you know none have yet to best Tonks, Lady of Many Faces! What makes you confident you shall best me where none have!?" She yelled out equally as flamboyantly.

Two Ravenclaw students, that were walking towards their first class, passed the courtyard and saw the antics of a 7th year Hufflepuff girl and a first year Slytherin boy, who was now in a quite lovely dark green long sleeve dress shirt, black dress pants, and a silver and green version of the Slytherin tie. The two were yelling at each other about 'honor' 'besting one another' and other such trife. Picking up their pace both students made a note to pick out a different way to class later, cause clearly they didn't appreciate the finer arts of play fighting.

The youth of today makes me weep. Much like how this giant spider lady is weeping on the mecha Statue of Liberty in front of me. I believe I am, as the young people call it, tripping balls.

"*Gasp* The Lady of Many Faces!? I was unaware that my opponent was of such renown! However, this shall not change the outcome of this meeting! Though I must say, tales of your beauty have been greatly understated." Harry whispered the last part so just Tonks could hear. She would have thought she had gotten used to Harry's flirting, but it always got to her and made her feel nice. He was a good friend that way. But, she was losing this verbal confrontation, and that would not stand!

"Your honeyed words are appreciated, but they will not save you! For the Lady of Many Faces has a trick up her OH-!" As Tonks had gone to do an extravagant arm raise, her damn clumsiness kicked in and caused her to trip.

She would have hit the ground rather hard from her spot on top of the bench had her knight in dark and silver armor not been there. Years of acrobatic, athletic, and martial practice gave Harry much more strength than was becoming of an 11 year old. Hell even most 7th year boys could only dream of having Harry's physique. That's what happens when you don't have a physical education requirement in your wizard school.

But as I was saying, Harry caught both of Tonks arms and stopped her from hitting the ground. Pulling her back up onto the bench Harry had a massive smile as he stared at the flustered Hufflepuff.

"Truly no one has ever bested The Lady of Many Faces, as she bests only herself." He said with a smile as Tonks pushed him off the bench. Unlike her though, Harry turned the fall into a back spring then into a back flip, bowing at the end. Was he grinning like the cocky guy he was? Is the sky currently made of kittens shooting lasers?

"I hate you." Tonks huffed and crossed her arms. Stupid lack of coordination.

"You love me, other wise you would probably stop coming here by this point." Harry pointed out as he walked back and helped Tonks down off the bench like a true gentleman.

"Maybe I'm justing using you for you sadistic mind? Ever think of that?"

"I'd prefer to be used for my body, but glad to see you appreciate all the aspects of a man. And I have, though I think the fact my constant flirting makes you blush like even more of a school girl than you already are helps." Tonks cursed as Harry was self aware of his effect on her.

"Yeah well…...get to class mister. Don't want Snape to give you detention on Halloween do you?" Tonks quickly diverted the conversation as Harry rolled his eyes and grabbed his things. Blowing Tonks a kiss and twirling dramatically Harry marched on to potions.

Tonks shook her head at the fiend she had. Though a thought quickly occurred to her. He had completely distracted her from asking anymore questions about his mom!

"Bloody hell!" She yelled out as she had fallen victim to Harry's diversion ways. To be fair to Tonks though, she was trying to beat a Bard in a game of words. That was not something most could do.

xxxXXXXxxx

Potions went the same for Harry as it had been for the past few weeks.

Snape would give Harry a difficult potion, Harry would look up how to do it, and with barely any time left he would narrowly finish the flawless potion.

In term of student potential, Harry was Snape's favorite student off his entire teaching career. He knew what he was doing, he didn't break the equipment, he would cause minimal fuss in the classroom when grabbing what he needed, and he would actually finish the potion. Snape hated that he had to admit this, but Harry was actually as good as his egotistical ass said he was.

Which is why in terms of student behavior, Harry was Snape's least favorite. Potter always had some witty retort, some snide comment to another student, and he just oh so loved to cause fights among the other students. They didn't see it, well save for Granger maybe, but Snape definitely did.

Harry would be brewing his potion and then, whilst making it look like he was doing other things, he would walk around the room and whisper things in the students ears to make them angry at other students. It was a nightmare when he would set up Draco and the Weasley boy to argue.

When asked why he did it, he said he was bored! From that point on Snape gave Harry potions that required a full attention while brewing, so that he couldn't wander around the room.

The only other class of interest on this particular holiday was charms with Filius Flitwick, a part goblin teacher in charge of Ravenclaw. He was alright as far as teachers went in Harry's mind. He knew what he was talking about, and tended not to play favorites. Then again this class, as seemingly all were, was a joint class with Gryffindor.

Now whilst other students went about their class time swishing and flicking away while trying to cast the charm, Harry sat in silent contemplation.

He needed candy, and lot's of it. The normal offerings that he and his mom shared in the past would not be as available in Hogwarts as they were back in North America. So he would make up for quality with quantity.

Plus he needed to find a room to use for an altar, though that was more of an aesthetic thing. But as a Bard things like cultural appreciation are important so the altar would have to be made.

'Ah shit, she will want to meet her old friends too won't she. Damn it mom, why did you have to be a social butterfly in school!' Harry thought to himself as he rubbed the sides of his head. This was going to be more of a pain than in years past, he could already tell. Shame he didn't know _Heroes Feast_ as that would at least make things somewhat easier.

"Mr. Potter, would you mind trying to cast the charm? Remember, swish and flick!" Flitwick spoke to him as the only other student to get it so far was Hermione. Looking up lazily Harry pulled out _Ironie_ and with a swish and a flick of the wand, cast the spell.

" _Wingardium Leviosa."_ The feather on the desk in front of him raised up and floated in the air. Harry began to whistle the Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairies as he had the feather move with the tempo.

"Oh bravo, Mr. Potter, bravo. And might I add that carrying a tune like while casting is most impressive, you should think about joining the Frog Choir." Harry blinked owlishly as he was unaware that the school had a choir. Flitwick walked over to where Hermione sat as was showing Ron how to cast.

"Well shit, guess I know what I'm taking third year. Hey Draco, why didn't you tell me we had a choir?" Harry turned to see Draco failing at the spell. The blond boy sighed as he looked at Harry.

"Because, why would I ever have an interest in looking into seeing if the school had a choir? And by the way, why are you so good at this stuff? I mean, clearly you're powerfully magically, but still."

"Uhh…..I've been doing magic long before I got to Hogwarts. Why do you think Snape gives me all those difficult potions? I asked him too, though in my own way."

"So like a cocky git?" Draco clarified.

"Exactly!"

After class was dismissed, and the wave of students were leaving the room, Harry overheard Ron talking one Seamus Finnigan about Hermione correcting him.

"...Honestly it' no wonder she hasn't got any friends." Now while that was rude, what made it worse was that the girl in question heard it and stormed off, clearly upset. Harry was about to follow after her but Daphne and Tracey intercepted him.

"Harry, we need you." They both said in sync.

"You're going to have to specify cause my mind is thinking of something else when you say that." Harry responded with a smile. Hermione could wait for a few minutes as he had his back and forth with his two lovely snake girls.

"Perv. No, what we need from you is help with homework."

"That sounds insanely dull. So I'll have to pass on that." Both girls grabbed his arms and gave him the dreaded puppy dog eyes.

"Please Harry, you're so good at all the classes, surely helping us understand would be so easy for a gifted individual like you." Daphne said in as helpless of a voice as she would be willing to degrade herself to.

"Yeah Harry, won't you help us poor innocent beauties with our home work, you wouldn't want to make us sad would you." Tracey said with equally as much meekness behind her voice.

Both girls were playing to his ego and his love of the ladies. He knew this, but damn if they weren't effective. That and he figured both girls died a little inside from having to ask like that, so they at least earned his attention. Sighing and looking down, Harry snapped his head back up with a shit eating grin.

"Well when two lovely ladies are clearly in such distress over such easy things like homework, what other choice does a suave puckish rogue like myself have but to help them?" Harry followed both girls back to the dorms, making a mental note to check up on Hermione latter. But right now, he had two snakes to charm.

xxxXXXXxxx

So the charming of the snakes took way longer than it needed to because both girls really liked talking to each other. In fact they just pawned their work off on him while they discussed what was discussed in class, and the politics of the Wizard World at the time. Damn his weakness for hot women!

But now he sat in the Great Hall, feasting with the other students as the Halloween decorations made for a pleasant atmosphere.

Harry sat eating his food, the two lovely snakes on either side of him, as he Draco went on about whatever the hell was involving his father. The kid was like a broken record sometimes.

"Hey Harry." Daphne got his attention. Looking over at her, Harry smiled, giving her his undivided focus.

"You deal a lot with muggles right? Like that's what you've been doing before you got here?" He could tell she was nervous asking this. It would seem that _Suggestion_ was working.

"All the time. Why?"

"Well….what are they like?" Harry couldn't help but snicker a bit.

"Well….they're like how many people are, varied widely from group to group."

"But like, how are they different than us, apart from no magic?" By this point those around the conversation were paying attention to Harry's answer, most having grown up inside the Wizarding World.

"Well they aren't really. They just have different ways of solving things. They can't use magic so they have gotten very creative to make up for it. I will say this though, I would much rather fight a wizard than a muggle." This got some raised eyebrows. Harry explained why.

"A wizard you can alway count on to try and attack you with a spell. Now whether or not you can block or defend against that spell is dependent on the person. A muggle? They get creative. Sadistically so too. I've seen someone kill 25 people by firing an automatic weapon at them, then that same person killed another 10 with a knife, another 8 with some broken glass. and then another 6 with his bare hands. They don't have a spell to instantly kill someone with, so they make themselves those weapons." Harry explained, slightly disturbing those listening with the story.

"The apple thing I did to Ron? While The Bard showed me how to do it with magic, the original idea came from a muggle. Was fighting some blokes in a bar and decided that an apple would be a good way to down the largest fellow. Worked too, if you can't tell."

"Who was that person, the one who killed all those people?!" Tracey asked. Tracey it seemed had a habit of asking questions about known murderers. Not a safe habit that one.

"Eh, a co-worker of The Bard. Might be visiting him in Japan this summer. Should I let him know you're curious about him?" Harry teased. Before she could respond though, Quirrell came sprinting into the Hall, screaming his head off.

"Troll! Troll in the dungeon! Thought you should know." Harry had to give the guy props, he could fake passing out pretty alright. Now sure Harry saw through it, but he was more observant with that stuff than most.

The Hall erupted in panic as students feared the troll now in the castle. Honestly it was just a twelve foot tall ogre on steroids. Really nothing to be worried about.

"SILENCE!" Dumbledore's voice rang out over the Hall, quitting all the students.

"Prefects will lead the students back to their dorms. Teachers will follow me to the Dungeon." He said calmly and safely. There was just one issue, one Harry felt the need to point out.

"Uhh sir! Aren't our dorm IN the dungeon? I mean I'm all for going mano e mano with a troll, but they all look ready to cry." Harry said pointing to a group of his more cowardly housemates.

"...Mr. Potter raises an excellent point! Now then, Slytherin will follow Hufflepuff to their dorms until this matter is resolved."

With that the large group of students began to shuffle out of the Hall. Harry then overheard from two Gryffindor girls that Hermione had was still in the girls bathroom, crying since Charms class.

"Son of a bitch. Guess I got to do everything." Harry muttered to himself as he snuck through the crowd, making his way to the girls bathroom.

"HARRY! Where are you going?" He turned to see Tonks running towards him with worry in her eye. Aww she was scared.

"It's ok Tonks, I'm just going to grab a girl from the bathroom who doesn't know about the troll. Won't be but a jiffy." He turned to walk away but was grabbed by Tonks.

"I'm coming with you. If something happens you'll need help from someone with more experience. Besides, you also need to know the dorm password to get in. Lucky for you, you just have a dashing Hufflepuff who fits both categories." She said with a hair flip.

"A. I would be fine, but you know what, sure. B. This is true so welcome aboard Tonks."

The duo ran down the halls to the girls bathroom when the sounds of heavy footsteps with a large figure stopped them both. The troll was making its way into the bathroom at this very moment, armed with a large club.

"Damn that thing must have sat the troll record for the hundred meter dash to be up here so quickly. That or Quirrel is a lying piece of shit. I want the first, but sadly it's more than likely the second." Harry said as the two continued their way to the bathroom. Stopping for a second Harry said he needed something really quick. Drawing _Ironie,_ Harry cast a spell.

" _Accio: Box of many songs"_ Tonks saw a wooden music box shoot out into Harry's hand as he smiled and motioned for them to continue.

"What is that thing?"

"Oh you'll see." The two could hear Hermione scream and loud crashes as it was clear the troll found the girl. Tonks' mind raced as she wondered how she was going to save this girl and fight a troll. Hopefully Harry had a trick up his sleeve.

The two made it into the bathroom as the troll was smashing the wooden stalls. Hermione was screaming for help as she crawled along the floor under all the wooden rubble.

" _Stupefy!"_ Tonks cast a stunning spell in the hopes of halting the troll. The spell was stopped by the creature's thick hide as it turned its attention to her.

"Harry do something!" Tonks cried out as she was not feeling so confident right now. Lucky for both her and Hermione, Harry was a Bard. Opening the box Harry begun what made Bard's great support. _Bardic Inspiration._

( **Music Start: Stayin Alive by Bee Gees)**

" _Well, you can tell by the way I use my walk I'm a womans man: no time to talk. Music loud and women warm. I've been kicked around since I was born."_ Harry begun singing as the magic of his words took effect. Tonks felt a surge of magic go through her as the idea of taking on this troll seemed so minor now in comparison to what it once was.

" _And now it's alright. It's Ok, and you may look the other way. We can try to understand, The New York Time's effect on man."_ Harry, while still singing, slid underneath the stall door and made sure Hermione was alright. The girl looked up at her savior, his green eyes filled with mirth and joy as he sang disco while the older girl cast more stunners at the troll. He pulled her out from the rubble and pointed towards the door, signalling for her to run. Once near the door Hermione instead turned to watch the battle.

" _Whether you're a brother, or whether you're a mother, You're stayin alive, stayin alive. Feel the city breakin', and everybody shakin' stayin alive, stayin alive. And we're stayin' alive, stayin alive."_ Harry slid next to Tonks, discoing as he sung, further amping his freinds power. Tonks would have been nailed by the trolls club had the music her friend was singing not been there, allowing her the speed to dodge it. Both girls couldn't help but begin dancing along with Harry, though they kept it limited to shoulder dances.

" _Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin' alive, stayin alive. Ah, ha, ha, ha, STAYIN' ALIVE!"_ Harry sung the high note perfectly as Tonks finished the troll off with a cast of _Bombarda._

Despite the threat being over, Harry did not close the box. It would be a cold day in Hell before he stopped dancing to this song before it ended. The girls, both happy to be alive began to become swayed by his dancing as he grabbed both Tonks and Hermione and showed them how to disco.

Thus was the scene all the Professors that accompanied Dumbledore came to when they approached the bathroom. The sight of three students discoing in a smashed up bathroom, the Bee Gees playing in the background, and a dead troll with the shoulders up vaporized by a blasting spell.

Questions, many questions, were abound.

"My word, what happened here! Explain yourselves this instant." McGonagall demanded as Tonks and Hermione stopped dancing. Harry, as he should have done, kept dancing but said hello.

"Mr. Potter will you stop dancing?" Dumbledore asked. He made a note to ask Harry if another one of those boxes playing the song existed, he could definitely use one in his office.

"Nope. If there is any talking with Harry, that person shall dance too or be ignored." Harry said as he jived to the music. Much to his, Tonks, and pretty much everyone there save for Albus and Flitwick's surprise McGonagall stepped up and began to disco with him. Apparently she wanted answers.

"Now, Mr. Potter. What do you have to say for yourself about this situation?" She asked as she busted a move. While Harry may have merely adopted the disco, McGonagall lived through it, and she was no slouch on the dance floor.

"You've clearly done this before, which is great. And I was simply helping out another student, after all Hermione was not present for the troll announcement. Tonks here saw me heading off. But like a good friend and senior student she accompanied me to make sure Miss Granger was ok. Plus she is the one who slayed the troll. Honestly if not for her we would be troll paste." Harry explained in a way to avoid any suspicion falling directly onto him. But he also made sure to give Tonks a great deal of credit.

If not for her he would have to kill the troll by himself. And that was not nearly as fun as this. The professors, now all swaying with the song as it was nearing its end, all looked to a blushing Tonks.

"Really now? Well then 5 points from Slytherin and Hufflepuff for blatant ignorance of orders. But another 10 to each of you. For sheer dumb luck." Satisfied McGonagall walked off as the song ended, and with it Harry's dancing.

Shooting both girls a smile and a wink, which was greeted with a blush from Hermione and an eyeroll from Tonks, the trio made their ways back to their dorms. Though Hermione gave Harry a bone crushing hug and thanked both of them for saving her.

With only Tonks and Harry standing outside the Gryffindor entrance, the two friends looked at each other for a second before walking back to their own dorms. Before she left through Tonks stopped Harry.

"Hey umm...I'll go with you."

"Hmmm?" 

"To Japan, or wherever you guys end up going. Tonight was fun, very dangerous and frightening, but fun. If this is what your life outside of school is like, I want to experience it. You know get some world knowledge in me before becoming an Auror." She told Harry rather nervously. He looked at her with his normal grin and nodded his head.

"I look forward to this summer then. Though I should tell you something."

"What's that?"

"That troll thing? If you found that frightening just wait till a real adventure hits you. Knowing our luck, it more than likely will. Now, if you excuse me, I have a ghost mom coming tomorrow, and I am woefully unprepared for it. Good night Tonks." Harry waved bye after blowing her another kiss. Tonks again found herself rolling her eyes at his antics, but was now becoming more flustered by them.

Thoughts of the summer began to enter her head as she wondered what adventures a Witch and two Bards could get into. 


	6. Chapter 6

_Disclaimer: I don't own either D &D or Harry Potter_

When Harry woke up in the morning he had a long list of things he needed to accomplish before 6pm rolled around. At Midnight central time in North America, All Saints Day would start and the adult spirits of the deceased would return to the world for the day. The first place that Harry was introduced to this concept, and the one where he met his mother for the first time, was during Dia de los Muertos; Day of the Dead in Mexico City.

Needless to say, when Harry heard for the first time what the school of Necromancy could do, like bring a loved one back, he was interested. The Bard found the entire cultural aspect of the holiday fun and intriguing. Not every day you had a country wide series of Necromancy rituals done. Now the actual festival itself had a fun combination of warding off malevolent spirits and the summoning the benevolent ones mixed in.

So after a little side quest involving some Aztec knife that was possessed with the souls of thousands of angry sacrifice victims, the duo saw the holiday first hand. And with a little magic of his own, The Bard allowed for Harry's mother, Lily Potter, to crossover and spend time with her then 7 year old son.

Not his father, James Potter, though. Previous resurrection experiences had lead The Bard to having a no resurrecting the father policy. Wasn't his fault that previously the daughters of the deceased were always hot and had decided to do the horizontal tango with him, it was just a product of the situation. Sure the odds of that situation happening with Harry was about zero, but if made an exception to the rule once, he would be expected to again. Wasn't happening on his watch though. And honestly, if people wanted the dead raised and not have to pay with carnal pleasures of a kind then they should talk to a Cleric or a Necromancer, not a Bard.

Anyways, Harry wasn't sure how time based magical rituals worked when a thing like time zones existed, but he wouldn't take any chances. Come 6 o'clock he would have a wonderful feast prepared, have Lily's old friends there, and would introduce her to the ones he had made at school.

Though he figured just the fact he was away from The Bard would be enough to fill his mom with joy. Since she found the man who adopted him to be, and I quote, "A deplorable piece of criminal scum, who would lead her son down a path of ruin". Clearly death had affected the woman's judgment because The Bard was going to lead Harry down the path of fame and greatness.

The rest of what she said? Uhh…..I wouldn't say scum, and I find that I'm far more charming than deplorable, but the rest is fairly accurate.

Making haste with today's endeavors Harry sought out Malfoy for help in obtaining the food. His reason for doing so was that Crabbe and Goyle were perpetually glued to his sides and both of them were very familiar with the Hogwarts kitchen. Finding the trio in the Great Hall eating breakfast while students were coming and going, Harry sat down across from the three and made eye contact with Draco.

"Draco, I need to borrow Crabbe and Goyle." Harry got right to the point. Malfoy and the two goon children all raised their eyebrows and looked at each other.

"And why would you need these two dunderheads?" Malfoy asked not caring at all about insulting his lackeys intelligence.

"Because I'm planning on murdering the High King of the Amazon Basin and need two people to hold of the Naga as I do battle." Harry said with no traces of sarcasm in his voice. The lack of any form of bluff, and Harry's backstory tales of adventure caused slight panic from Crabbe and Goyle as they did not want to be roped into being Naga bait. Granted neither of them knew what a Naga was, never mind the one that patrolled the Amazon River Basin.

"Are you serious!? Why would you be doing such a thing?" Draco asked shocked. He had never heard of this High King of the Amazon Basin, but he sounded like an important guy. While he had made it a personal note for his mental health to avoid asking Harry too much about his activities, this one seemed pretty big.

"Because the Pygmy people have spoken and they shall no longer tolerate a tyrant who sends forth his hundred foot long serpent to keep them in line." While not showing on the outside, Harry was sighing of exasperation that Malfoy was buying into the story.

Honestly, didn't he know that the High King had been dead for at least 50 years. Killed by the very Naga he once used as a weapon? How ignorant of world affairs.

"I don't know Harry it sounds very dangerous, and I imagine Crabbe and Goyle rather like living. But what the heck, sure, take them." Draco relented. Maybe this would be a good chance to see what Harry did when he went off on these adventures.

"Well that's great, cause the actual thing I need them to do is grab me a bunch of food and candy from the kitchen." Harry let them have the truth as the two larger boys sighed in relief.

"Why wouldn't you have just said that!? Honestly you had me worried about whatever that nonsense about whatever rubbish king you made up was." Draco complained.

"Draco, the lives of hundreds of Pygmy people were lost under his tyrannical rule, it was only the Naga snapping from the charm that had been placed on it that spared them from more suffering. And anyways, I felt like beating around the bush for a bit, you know just to get in the storytelling spirit."

"...I can honestly say I have never felt like getting into the "storytelling spirit" before."

"And that is why you will never be as awesome as me." Harry said with a large smile as Draco rolled his eyes.

xxxXXXXxxx

After a bit more back and forth Malfoy had his goons help Harry with grabbing what was probably enough food for thirty people from the kitchen and into their dorm. And by help Harry, I mean Harry conned them into doing all of the work as he went to Potions class.

Don't worry though, Harry had distracted Snape from noticing their absences by just ranting at him in Russian. Life lesson here everyone, need a second of distraction? Foreign language ranting was your best friend. Snape, unsurprisingly, did not speak Russian and as a result was quite baffled and put off when Harry was spewing words at him at incredibly rates. Had he spoken it though, he would have heard Harry reciting all of Hamlet.

His lost in my opinion. Though to be fair to Snape the only real Russian you need to know is this. Ya machina: I am the machine. Worked great for a guy named Bert, it'll work for you.

"Potter, you are trying my patience with this babble! Sit down and await for instructions." Snape sneered as he ever so slightly limped away. While this went unnoticed by most of the students, Harry did pick it up and filed it away for later. Crabbe and Goyle had been able to infiltrate the class without too much hassle thanks to the diversion and then class begun. There was one key difference between this class and all the others Harry had before this point.

The key difference was that one Hermione Granger decided that she would request to be Harry's potions partner. Something that Snape in almost sheer spite of Harry agreed to. As Harry was appropriating the materials he would need to brew his challenge for the day, a Draught of Love, the two approached him.

"Potter. Granger is now your assigned potions partner, as the two of you have the highest grades in the class I will expect nothing short of exemplary quality potions. And our little arrangement still stands Potter, best not screw up." Snape turned away with a cape twirl and sat forth giving the rest of the class their instructions. Hermione looked confused at the last statement of the Professor and watched what Harry was doing.

"Draught of Love? That's way above what a first year should be doing! Why does Professor Snape have you doing this, and alone I might add?" She tried to grill Harry.

"Well I'm not alone anymore now am I? And he is doing this because I asked him too. Well that's not entirely true, but it is a welcome change of pace from the other classes." Harry answered with a smile as he showed Hermione what ingredients they would need.

As the two of them prepared their brewing process, Hermione now saw why Harry was always the last done. The requirements for this potion were insane.

"So may I ask why you decided joining me was a good idea? I mean, not that I mind the company, I just figured you would be off with one of your Gryffindor friends." Harry inquired as he hummed Paint It Black. The humming was a covert amount of _Bardic Inspiration_ , as he saw his partner was nearly panicking at trying to keep the cauldron at the right temperature and figured she could use some help. The girl was now visibly more relaxed as she slowed down her stirring, letting the potion take on the vibrant pink look it should have. He figured that the girl could use a confidence boost after the previous day and felt that having her play a large role in the potions success would do so.

"I actually don't have many friends in Gryffindor. And well….you always seemed so alone over here brewing by yourself, and when in the halls. So I wanted to do this as part thank you and part to help." Harry blinked at the girl's statement. He didn't think he was alone when he was brewing by himself or when he went around the school.

Then again he only really hung out with Tonks in a out of the way courtyard, and Tracey and Daphne he would talk to when there was a group around. Draco was more of a casual acquaintance and the rest of his housemates were Nazis. So what someone like Hermione would see was him talking to two people, and occasionally a third.

"Huh…...I guess from an outside look I do look alone most times don't I? Well I can assure you that's far from the actual case. It's not about the number of friends you have, it's about how good of friends they are." He responded. There was a large amount of truth behind Harry's words. Despite only being in a place for no more than a few months at a time, Harry had felt like he had made some real friends. And real enemies, but those could be solved with the right amount of charm. Or murder. Murder was always a good plan C.

"Oh…...well sorry for assuming." Honestly this girl seemed like a kicked puppy sometimes, it made Harry want to start planning some forms of revenge on the lions. Maybe he would introduce a Pixie into their mix and watch the chaos.

"Ah you're fine, besides, you seem more alone than me. So if anything I should be the one trying to comfort you."

"Well it's just that people say I'm bossy and act like I know everything when all I do is pay attention in class and read the materials available. You don't think I come across off as a know-it-all who's better than everyone do you?" She asked with genuine concern in her voice. Apparently that had been the reason for her being shunned by other in her house. To Harry it was an amazing joke.

"Hahaha, no not at all. But that's probably because I actually am a know-it-all who is, in fact, better than everyone here." He said with a smile. Hermione smirked and rolled her eyes as everyone was very much aware of Harry's opinion of himself. The Slytherin Boy-Who-Lived that refused to wear robes, and would have little trouble completing their classes.

If she was honest with herself, Hermione was quite glad someone else was able to get things as fast as she was, though the rumor mill had stated that Harry's knowledge came from outside of school adventures. But given the ones she had heard, Hermione found it hard to believe any of it was true. I mean, killing a werewolf by pinning it to the ground with cement and hammering a silver coin into it's head was ridiculous.

You know what I think is ridiculous? The fact that _I_ was the one holding down the bloody thing as Harry apparently couldn't keep a werewolf in a Camel Clutch. What is the point of training in the art of Pro Wrestling if you couldn't get mythical beasts to tap out? But to Harry's credit, he could throw a bear into one hell of a choke hold. Don't worry too much about why the bear needed to be choked out, just know it needed to happen. If it hadn't the island of Guam may have been overtaken by Awoken bear people.

"Yes….I'm aware of what you think of yourself." She said hesitantly. Harry could hear the skepticism in her voice, and he couldn't have any of that. If Hermione was to be his partner, and more than likely friend, he would have to know how awesome he was.

"Keep in mind that last night I saved you and helped Tonks kill a troll by dancing and singing." Harry reminded. Hermione conceded at that, as that was indeed impressive.

As class came to a close, and the two's potion was finished, Harry told his friend group that now consisted of Daphne, Tracey, and Hermione he would be a second. He had some questions that Snape needed to answer, some important, others not. The not important questions came first.

"So Quirrel was totally the one who let the troll in last night wasn't he?" Harry's cavalier attitude on the matter threw Snape off for a bit before he glared at the Potter boy.

"I wouldn't concern yourself with such things Potter. You may wind up biting off more than you can chew." Snape drawled mysteriously as Harry rolled his eyes.

"Yea, yea, yea, students shouldn't go around looking for monsters to fight, Flitwick already gave me that speech after I tried to go piss off the centaurs that live in the Forbidden Forest. Anyways now the important question. Did you know my mom that well in school?"

Snape stared long and hard at Harry, trying to determine why the boy had asked such a question. A question that brought back painful and sad memories as well as happy ones. Lily had at one point been his best friend, but he fucked it up. Then when Snape saw her dead body that night at Godric's Hollow, he was crushed. Looking down at the son of the woman he had loved Snape could only nod at the question.

"Great! Now I need you, and whoever else knew her well in school to show up to the courtyard by the Hufflepuff common room at 6. But only grab people readily available, I don't have time to set up appointments and all that jazz, plus you're a busy man. Wouldn't want to waste your time." Harry instructed.

"And why would I be doing this Potter? I refuse to be roped into whatever scheme you are planning." Snape sneered.

"Oh. Well I just figured you would want to see mom again, but I guess not. Well thanks anyway Professor, but I'm off to see McGonagall was close to her as well." Harry walked away with mock sadness. As he got to the doorway Snape called back.

"What do you mean by seeing your mother?" He asked with an almost visible emotion that wasn't despisement. Snape couldn't see the large grin on Harry's face as The Bard In Training was really liking how emotionally driven a good chunk of the school was. Made for manipulations to be done much easier.

"Oh, she is visiting tonight for 24 hours. You said you two were friends so I figured you wanted to see her, what with her being dead and all. But clearly you have more important things to do." Harry again replied with a fake sorrow.

"...How?" Snape's eyes were wide as he knew Harry to be a arrogant prick, but he yet to hear of the boy lying.

"One word. Magic." With a highly amused expression Harry quickly fled the room before Snape could reply.

xxxXXXXxxx

Reaching where Daphne, Tracey, and Hermione were standing Harry could feel tension in the air as he approached. Apparently they didn't like each other, or at the very least, were weary of one another.

"Oh man, I can actually feel your cold indifference towards each other from over here. What's wrong?" He asked as Daphne and Tracey sent him looks of disdain.

"Why is she here Harry? She is in Gryffindor, and….. She's….well you know." Ah racism, how you turn every moment fairly awkward. Fortunately for Harry, Hermione hadn't connected the dots on the last part and simply thought that she was referring to her attitude.

"Yes she is. She is also one of the people who helped take out the troll last night. Besides, you wanted to know more about the muggles so here you are. I imagine she can better describe how most ordinary muggles live better than I could. I mean you've heard of the types of people I hung around. Not exactly normal now are they?" Harry said as he stretched the truth. Hermione being in the bathroom was the only reason him and Tonks had been there, and as such she was a key player in the fight against the troll. Had she not been there, no fight.

It was the small details like that made or broke stories. Sure she didn't help fight, but having a troll try to collapse your 11 year old head like Gallager was more than enough to get partial recognition. It also helped that trios tended to work better in stories than duos.

Begrudgingly, Tracey and Daphne put up with Hermione's presence as their Nazi tendencies were being swerved. The trio went through the rest of their classes with relative ease, with only one incident in Charms with Malfoy calling out Hermione being there.

Fortunately before the boy could go too far, Harry had pulled out an apple he had swiped and tossed it up and down behind Draco. The quite threat was made, Draco was very aware of it, and then he stopped talking.

Quirrell was also acting more suspicious than normal, but given that Harry now only had 3 hours before his mother showed up it was the least of his concerns.

Finally with all their classes done for the day Harry rushed to grab Tonks since he figured his best friend at the time should be present for this. That and if she was to tag along for the summer things like spectre visitations and necromancy would have to become more normal for her.

So at 5:45 on November 1st 1991, Harry Potter had gathered Tonks, Hermione, Tracey, Daphne, and Draco in an empty second floor classroom as he set up a makeshift ritual altar with the food placed upon it. Harry had also brought his Violin and a photo album from the various countries he had visited since he last saw his mother. The amount of frantic and yet still quite preparation Harry was placing in this was very alarming to his friends who only ever saw him running his mouth. In other words everyone present save for Tonks.

Speaking of the purple haired witch, she was the only one with any actual clue with what Harry was doing. The rest of the first years had just been told to show up, and Snape, was only given the vaguest of answers.

"Ummmm Harry, what are you doing?" Tracey asked from the side where she sat with Daphne. If this, whatever _this_ was, took too long they would end up missing dinner. Then again it seemed Harry had Crabbe and Goyle metch enough food for a small feast so maybe her Bard friend had something in mind.

"Can't talk. Busy. Ritual has to be perfect. Bad things otherwise. Uhh….mingle." Harry instructed the gathered group with a dismissing wave. Draco made minor small talk with the other Slytherins as Hermione talked with her other savior from the previous night.

5:55 rolled around as Snape entered the room with all the Heads of Houses, the half-giant Hagrid, and Dumbledore. The assembled group watched as the frantic Harry had constructed a beautifully colored ritual circle with some form of magic writing surrounding it. Food was placed in the center of the circle and a series of candles surrounded the outside.

"Is this what you wanted us to see Severus? While a little bizarre I see nothing here to out of the ordinary." McGonagall said as she watched the son of two of her former students grab the violin he had and began to play.

For the next five minutes the gathered group was completely enamored as Harry's string work wove a melody of soft and soothing sounds. The sounds they heard him make were unlike any they had ever heard before, in an instant all thoughts of what was going on outside of the room wisped away and was replaced with the enjoyment of the music. Harry then switched from a soft and soothing tone, to one of melancholy and sadness, paying respects to the dead.

None of the gathered audience dared to interrupt as several were driven to tears from the beautiful sadness they heard in the music. As Harry was finishing the melancholic sounds, the candles around the circle began to flicker and wane, as a strong chilling breeze filled the room. Eventually the only light in the room came from the dim candles as Harry finished pulling the bow across his instrument, ending the song and completing whatever strange ritual he had created.

All was quiet in the room as the gathered watched Harry's back as he stared towards the center of the now glowing circle. The rattling of the plates and glass cups caused the adults to go on edge as they braced for the worst.

What they got instead was the ghost of one Lily Potter. Despite her ghostly appearance she smiled with a great amount of life as she looked down at her only child. Joy consumed her expression as she floated towards Harry and embraced him. Much to the boy's embarrassment.

"Mom, not in front of my friends." He whispered to his undead mother. More aware of the world than most everyone present Harry may be, but he was still and 11 year old boy with an image to keep.

Lily's ghost let out a light laugh as she floated back away from her son to take in the occupants of the room. She saw her old Professors, Severus, Hagrid, as well as children that she assumed were Harry's friends. Noting that one important individual was missing in particular, Lily voiced her concerns.

"YOU'RE AWAY FROM THAT GOD AWFUL BARD!? YAY!" Clearly she was never taught that it was rude to pick on someone when he wasn't there.

"...I wouldn't say god awful…" Harry began but quickly stopped as his mom's ghostly gaze shot down to him.

"He is a despicable person and it pains me to see you with him." She stated with a cross of her arms. Apparently the bitch forgot who grabbed her spirit from the Land of the Dead in the first place. You would figure a thanks would be in order, but no! It's just "Stop killing people" this and "Don't let Harry do blank" that. Honestly the nerve of some people.

On the topic of nerves though, all the occupant's nerves went right out the window upon seeing Harry summon a ghost. Sure they wandered the castle and all that, but students didn't go around conjuring more into existence. In fact death was one thing that the wizards there seemed to regard as mostly permanent. Quite odd given Harry and I's experiences with it.

"That despicable person took me in, taught me amazing things, and is the reason we can talk right now." Thankfully Harry had a fellow Bard's back. Lily opened her mouth to retort but facts hurt so she couldn't.

"Lily? Is that you?" Snape, McGonagall, and Dumbledore all asked at the same time. The redhead ghost looked over her son and gave the three a pleasant wave. As nice as it would be to catch up with them, her son came first. But first…

"I don't suppose you have anything to eat?" Lily asked somewhat anxiously. Harry pointed behind her to where the food sat.

Now the type of ghosts in the world vary. You have normal things like specters, ghosts, wraiths, invisible stalkers, the works. But apparently depending on how the way they are summoned goes changes certain rules with them. That being the case, the only ritual Harry knew still gave his mom the ability to touch things, as well as feel hunger. And when you haven't eaten in a year and are presented with a feast. Well you can imagine how it goes.

Harry couldn't help but laugh a bit as his mom grabbed a plate of food and began inhaling it rapidly. Looking behind him to all those gathered he gestured for them to take a seat and enjoy the food. He could tell there were many questions abound and so he decided he would answer all of them with the one true answer.

Clasping his hands together above his head with extended arms, Harry brought them down in a large rainbow shape with a cast of _Prestidigitation_. With a shower of golden sparkles. A puff of smoke, and the flash of several colors the group saw what Harry's answer was.

xxxXXXXxxx

The dinner as a whole went wonderfully as Lily caught up with old friends and Harry introduced her to his. While initially bummed her son wasn't in Gryffindor, Lily was now just glad he was making friends who didn't kill for a living.

Though she did comment on why Harry was wearing dress clothes and not the school uniform. He responded by saying that "Hell would go through 4 Ice Ages before he would willingly wear that horrid garb". Lily thought that that maybe a bit of an over reaction. Harry didn't and felt that as long as he had the colors and the tie he was fine.

Of the friends Harry introduced her to, Lily took a liking to Tonks and Hermione the most since the others seemed to familiar to their once Death Eater parents for her liking. Plus she felt like it would be easier to ask those two to make sure Harry didn't get into too much trouble.

Ah, how wrong she was. You see, trouble always finds Harry, and then it hits him like a bus. A bus made entirely from lead. That is carrying an entire team of half-giant sumo wrestlers. That is then followed by 6 more busses.

Point is that Harry wouldn't need to go out looking for trouble, it would find him. But that night wasn't about getting into trouble and then some grand adventure. No, it was about a mother returning from beyond the veil of life and death to spend time with her son. That and to lord over him during his classes and embarrass him like any good mother would do.

For the next 24 hours Lily Potter floated around her son and his friends, reminiscing with old friends and watching her son's previous magical knowledge give him a leg up on all his classes. And for a brief moment, ever so fleeting, Lily found herself somewhat grateful about The Bard's abduction of her son. The psychotic maniac had taught Harry valuable social skills, new forms of magic, how to play musical instruments, and so much more.

She was proud of her son and all he had accomplished and all that he sat out to do. Sure she wanted him to do it in less of a super villainy way, but as long as he enjoyed what he did, that was enough for her. 


	7. Chapter 7

_Disclaimer: I don't own either D &D or Harry Potter_

 _AN: Made Edits, if I miss any let me know._

Now, one would figure that after showing off the ability to summon spirits of lost loved ones Harry would be hounded by questions.

And you would be right!

But to make matters easy on young Harry, the only one with questions that weren't easily deflected was the esteemed Headmaster, Dumbledore. Now apparently summoning dead spirits was viewed as a possible sign of "being dark". Which essentially meant that Dumbledore was now worried about the context in which Harry learned that ritual, and if it was something sinister in nature.

So the two sat in Dumbledore's office, having a back and forth.

"I must ask again Harry, who taught you that ritual?" The old man pleaded.

"And I'll say it again. The Bard, he doesn't go by any name you would know, and hell, I don't know his real name." Harry explained as he leaned back in a chair, eating a pear, like the cool cat he was. This was true, Harry did not know The Bard's real name, as I don't give it out, and the ones I do are fakes. In my mind it matters very little who the storyteller is, so long as the story is good.

"You have spent years with this Bard and he had never given you his name?"

"Look, I never said he was a good parental figure, he himself knows he isn't, he's just a great teacher. It's all I need really. Besides, I feel like if I ever did find out his real name it would not live up to they hype." It wouldn't, Harry was smart to know this.

"...Anyways The Bard's teaching you potentially dark magic Harry. The Ministry does not look kindly on prospective dark wizards." Dumbledore warned.

"Well good thing I'm a bloody Bard then isn't? Can be as dark as I want, so long as it is whimsical and musical."

"I would not suggest doing so Harry, the cost of doing so is often great."

"Oh yea it is, I got a story for this. So there was this guy in China, some Triad boss or whatever, who paid The Bard shit load of money to give him magic powers. The Bard figured why not, but pulled a fast one on the guy. He gave him power over fire, enough to destroy all his enemies, but what he didn't tell him was that every time he used it, he ripped away a chunk of his life. Anyways he was dead two weeks later, and only 59 people died! Was a new record in all honesty." Harry said as he took another bite. Dumbledore was face palming as he felt his point was being ignored.

"Look Harry, my point is.." Dumbledore was cut off when Harry spoke next.

"You want to learn it? Will that get you to drop this thing? It's not a dark ritual, but do note this one only works on one soul. It's why I've still yet to meet dad." Harry explained/offered.

"...It would help me confirm that you are not dark if you taught me this ritual." Dumbledore was accepting his bribe. Necromancy kids, next to Transmutation as the best bribery school of magic.

"One thing though before we do this, I'm going to need a favor." Harry was now doing what we call in the criminal world, extorting. Thing was, it worked like a charm.

"Oh? And what favor would that be?"

"So Yule is approaching and well…..something is going to come with it, something that I need to be ready to fight. Previous years The Bard has done the fighting but he's not here. In order to do so though I'm going to need to bring in a lot of….contraband." Harry explained.

"What is this something, might I ask? And if you are bringing anything dangerous into this school, I do need to know."

"Krampus." Albus blinked, not expecting that answer.

"I'm sorry…...but Krampus?"

"Yup, white, Germanic in origin, demon assistant of good ole St. Nick? Krampus. He is one pissed off spirit let me tell you that. We had to literally throw him into Hell last time. Quite fun, save for the demon ladies going for my soul…..and other things but I was ok with that."

"Hold on Harry. You're telling me that come Yule, Krampus will be coming for you inside of Hogwarts?" Apparently Dumbledore's hearing was going at his old age.

"Oh boy will he. See when Krampus comes, it's not like the old stories with a sack and a stick, oh no he rains down on you like a holy ghost of Christmas fury. It would be awesome if it wasn't directed at me." Harry further elaborated.

"...Should I be worried about the other students?"

"Uhh….unless they have been naughty then no, then again I'm it's target for reasons you don't need to worry about. But don't worry too much Headmaster, The Bard is sending me things to combat it. When it comes for him, it won't stand a chance, but me? Sadly less so." Harry was cocky, but he knew he couldn't take on a spirit of Christmas without help.

"...I guess I have no choice but to agree, can't have any of my students being killed by vengeful holiday spirits."

"Now you're getting it! So here's what you do…" Harry spent the next several hours explaining to Dumbledore how the ritual was done, what materials were needed, and how to find the soul of the person you were looking for.

Upon returning to his dorm later than usual he found an angry Daphne and Tracey awaiting him. It seemed to be normal these days.

"You have some explaining to do!" Tracey yelled.

"...About?"

"That entire ghost thing!"

"I'm pretty sure the word magic summed it up quite well."

"That wasn't an answer though, it was an excuse for not giving one." She responded. Harry winked and snapped his fingers at her while snapping back with his own comment.

"Name of the game sweetie, name of the game."

"Harry! Please tell us something!" Tracey stomped her foot and practically begged. Harry looked at Daphne, who had chosen to let Tracey do the talking, and then back at his raven haired beauty.

"...Ok, I'll say this. You'll both get something I have picked up from my journeys for Christmas. Now sure it's not what I know magically, but I think you'll like it."

"Were you not going to get us something before?"

"Oh I was, probably just a stuffed animal or something, but since you girls are clearly upset I figure I should bribe you a bit more." Both girls nodded at that, as really what was a Christmas present between potential lovers other than a bribe?

"What are you going to give us?" Daphne asked with haste. While she was now always weary of Harry's motives, she was excited at receiving something from an adventure. Though knowing him it was probably something dirty.

"Jesus Christ, it is November, you can wait." Both girls attempted to coerce the information out of him, but alas the puppy dog eyes would not work twice!

Biding both girls goodnight with a kiss on the hand each, Harry returned to his dorm and ran through a mental map of Hogwarts. He would have this place be a fortress come Yule break, which started on December 22.

xxxXXXXxxx

So, Yule break came around and guess what Harry had yet to do?

If guessed turn Hogwarts into a fortress, you were correct. Sure it was already a castle, but such a thing was trivial for Krampus. The white goat demon would not have trouble getting past the Wards or the barriers. It was an anthropomorphic personification of a holiday, there isn't a magic that mortals can cast to top it. Fey, Celestials, Fiends, Dragons, and Undead? Sure, but not mortals.

But what Harry did have was a mostly empty castle, as most of the staff and students had gone home to be with their families. He had not informed his friends about Krampus, as he didn't want to cause panic to those who wouldn't be around. As it turns out though, only Tonks stayed of his friend group, her mother having gone off on vacation with her father.

Sure that seemed rather mean, but it meant she could spend more time with the person she was now considering her Best Friend, despite his eccentric tendencies. Like his just now informing her of a Christmas demon coming after him. "Just another one of Harry's antics", is not what she said, instead she chose this.

"I swear by Merlin's beard Harry, after we survive this thing, I am going to tie you down until you tell me everything I need to be aware of that is a threat to my life when I'm around you!" While she had a valid point, unfortunately for Tonks there was a weakness in her sentence.

"If you're tying me down my safe word is osteoporosis." He said with a grin. Tonks smacked the side of his head and then tilted her head in confusion.

"Why?"

"Can you think of any point during sex when that word would be brought up other than needing it?"

"...No, but still that's what colors are for man. Like mine is lilac." Tonks covered her mouth but it was too late. The largest grin Harry had ever had was on his face as now had some great material against his friend. Though torment would come later, right now both were awaiting a message from The Bard containing all the things Harry would need.

Hedwig arrived moments later with an average sized parcel in her grips. Giving the owl a treat Harry then removed the letter from the top and gave it to Tonks as he opened the package.

Curiosity got the best of her as she opened it and tried to read what her friends mentor said. It would have been the first time she heard something from him directly and not through Harry's stories.

"Uhhh...Harry, is this what that spell you cast on the fake letters we give to my ex does?" She asked as she handed him the letter.

"No, that's just…...Russian, mixed with Japanese, I see some Italian….there's German….ok, he was drunk when writing this." Harry concluded as The Bard had no less than 7 languages mixed and matched on the letter. In my defense…...I had a shit load of vodka in me when I wrote that. Like enough that my blood alcohol levels could have acted like Basilisk venom. But hey when the Pixie Queen of the Rhine challenges you to a drinking contest, you go big or go home.

"Can you make out what it says?"

"Uh…'Listen here you little shite, I'm sending you a bunch of crap cause some fucking goat thing is coming for your ass. There is also some of the gifts you asked for your friends, by the way how are you? Did the ghost bitch visit you? Ah who gives a shit. So that German goat demon fuck is gonna gunning for ya real hard this time, it's quite pissed about being tossed into Hell last time. Anyways I got some Pixies to deal with now so I'll see you…..whenever the fuck I see you next. Sincerely, The Bard' well, not the nicest of letters, but at least he still is functioning."

"I can have trouble speaking another language sober, this guy does 7 drunk? Well he's….talented to say the least." Tonks thought of the most neutral thing she could say about her friends teacher.

Harry only nodded as opened the medium sized, similar to a jewelry container. wooden box and shuffled around through it. He stopped rigged though and slowly looked over to Tonks and instructed her thus.

"Tonks, I want you to reach behind my head and grab what's on it."

"Harry I don't see anything on you."

"I know, it's invisible. But I want you to reach around and grab behind my head." He spoke similarly to animal trainers when instructing people on how to approach an animal. Tonks reached her hand out slowly until it was near the back of Harry's neck. Though it was touching nothing, she could feel scales on her fingers. Reacting quickly, Tonks grabbed the invisible object as it began to squirm.

A Violet, house cat sized, dragon like creature with butterfly wings appeared in her hands, cackling as it was amused with the temporary panic it caused.

"Is this a Faerie Dragon!?" She asked excitedly. Looking more closely at the creature she could see the amusement in its eyes as flicked out its tongue like a snake.

"Indeed it is. This one in particular has been a long time friend. Tonks this is Chivers." Harry introduced the two.

"Chivers? The hell kinda name is that?" The dragon, now named Chivers, let out a bunch of low rasping guttural sounds as it spoke in Draconic. Harry in turn let out more words of the language of dragons as it turned it's head and eyed up Tonks.

"Apparently he reminded The Bard of another friend's bowling ball sized cat named Chivers, so he named it after the cat. Now look, Chivers is used to people so as long as you can keep up the entertainment and make sure it has food, you'll be fine. Watch out though cause he can shapeshift. Cheeky bugger one time turned into a tiger in the middle of Sydney, right mess that was." Harry instructed/warned. Tonks was immediately distracted by her new friends was she let the dragon climb around her arms and perch itself on her shoulder.

"Oh Harry, this is the best present ever!" She grabbed Harry and pulled him into a hug, not minding where Harry's face was located. Harry figured if this was his thanks he should probably get more people gifts.

Letting Harry go after a few seconds, Tonks watched what Harry brought out of the box that seemingly had no bottom to it. She didn't think too much of it since wizards had similar enchantments, instead she found the contents more interesting. Several things in the box were presents for Harry and the other friends in the group, while the rest was to prepare for the evil holiday spirit.

A large box set of wooden toy soldiers and cannons.

A tome of spells that Harry explained were above a level he could cast on his own.

A red Christmas stocking filled with marbles that had a blasting spell inscribed on them.

And finally, a lot slabs of metal with orange arcane writing on them. As a complete package it seemed that they formed some kind of large knight statue.

"What's that?" She inquired as she scratched Chivers under the chin. The violet creature had taken a liking to the purple haired witch it seemed.

"Bob."

"...Bob?" She felt like this was one of those things that should be a much larger deal than Harry was going to make it out to be.

"He's an Iron Golem that someone outfitted with fire enchantments. Makes him really useful when dealing with ice oriented monsters. Not much of a talker though." Harry said as he informed Tonks on where they needed to put the pieces of Bob and how they connected to one another. After an hour or so, Bob stood to his full 30 foot height in the opening courtyard. Tonks and Harry eyed the Golem as he now stood diligently, awaiting Krampus.

"When you said contraband, I had figured you meant muggle firearms, given your unstated history with such things. Though I do admit, a Golem of that size would be a nice addition to the castle. Perhaps after this Krampus ordeal is resolved I might persuade you to loaning it to Hogwarts." The voice of Dumbledore came from the doorway. Tonks was now nervously trying to explain what was going on, but was stopped by their Headmaster.

"I am aware of the situation Nymphadora, as luck would have it though the castle is mostly empty this year. Only Mr. Weasley, Miss Bones, and Miss Chang are the other students here." The polite tone of the Headmaster was enough to get Tonks to not be as nervous, though the fact her dragon had gone invisible and was no longer on her was concerning.

"Uhhh, you might want to let them in on what's going down. I figure at the very least we can throw them at this bastard as cannon fodder."

"Harry…."

"Kidding! Just kidding, not like they would be able to hold him off anyways. Oh, an important thing I forgot to bring up, it's hide is immune to most spells, hence my need for the book." Harry informed holding up the tome.

"How resistant we talking?" Tonks asked. She was trying to discreetly look around for Chivers, but it was rather difficult when the bloody thing was invisible. Little did they know that it was in the process of changing one Headmaster's grey beard rainbow.

"Given past years experiences? Uh the Blasting Marbles I have, which can blow a hole through a steel vault door, just kinda tickle it."

"...Oh." Tonks now wished that it was just another troll that she had to deal with.

"Ah don't worry too much, I'm sure between a Bard, one of the greatest wizards ever, you, and the other chumps, we'll do fine." Harry said positively. Dumbledore was about to speak when he noticed his beard was now a brilliant rainbow of colors. The sudden change caught the old man off guard as he looked around for the culprit. The snickering of an invisible Chivers was all the clue Harry needed to piece together what happened.

"And how could I forget Chivers." Harry pointed to the now visible fey on Tonks's shoulder.

"...Is that a fey?" Dumbledore's question caught Harry off guard as he didn't expect the Headmaster to be aware of such creatures. Upon noticing the look the old man gave a smile.

"I am not as ignorant to such things as you had expected Harry. After all, The Forbidden Forest is home to a great many of the Fey. Though this is my first time seeing one this close."

"Huh…..I'll make a note of that for later. Now, we should probably grab the others. After all, victory lies in preparation."

xxxXXXXxxx

Two hours later in the Great Hall, a gathering of wizards, witches, and a single bard met to discuss how to fend off Krampus.

The two students Harry had not met before were one Susan Bones, a lovely red haired Hufflepuff girl, and one Cho Chang, an Asian Ravenclaw who was absolutely stunning in Harry's eyes. He made a point of introducing himself to both girls the right way.

"It is truly a crime against humanity that I was not made aware of two marvelous beauties such as yourselves sooner. It is a very good honor to meet you, and you may call me Harry. Should either of you girls ever need anything feel free to ask, I am very accommodating." Harry said, charm oozing from his voice.

The two girls had only heard rumors about Slytherin's Bard, ranging from he's just a cocky first year to holy shit this kid could fight off an army of cyborg were-ninjas and win without a scratch. But one thing that was in agreeance amongst everyone…..he was always the best dressed.

But since both Susan and Cho had never been exposed to Harry in person, his charming attitude and charisma was super effective on them. Neither girl had the cunning or the icy attitudes of his Slytherin friends, nor Tonks's exposure to Harry's ways. As such both blushed full on red at what he said. Harry's large smirk showed that he was going to continue, that was until Tonks swatted him in the back of the head.

"Demon fight first, seduction later." She said firmly, Chivers nodding in agreement.

"I am very good at multitasking, as such I shall be fending off the demon, and charming these divine young ladies." Harry spoke with extreme confidence. At the word 'demon' Susan, Cho, and Ron now seemed more concerned with why they were here.

"Wait. Demon? What's going on?" Susan asked, riffed with concern. Dumbledore gave her his best kind old man look and addressed the students in a far more kind way then Harry would have.

"It would appear that a dark spirit is coming this Yule. I am very sorry you all have to be involved with this, but it would be safer for you to know what was happening than to be ignorant." The three gave each other very horrified looks. Fighting a dark spirit was not how they wanted to spend their break. Dumbledore explained that they would need to help fight, but that Harry had experience against this beast, and tools to make the job easier.

"Don't worry though, I've bested it in the past, and I'm sure that together we can do so again." Harry was now taking the role of charismatic leader.

"Didn't you have to throw it into Hell last time?" Tonks spoke up.

"The smackdown I laid upon it was akin to the tortures of Hell, yes." Harry again spoke with extreme confidence.

"That's not-*oof*." Tonks was cut off as Harry pulled her down and whispered in her ear.

"I am trying to be inspiring and not let the others panic. If they think that I've already solidly beaten Krampus we won't have to deal with them panicking. Plus I look amazing in front of Cho and Susan right now. So please just go along with it?" Harry said softly and then released his friend.

"Oh, of course Harry! I do so fondly remember you telling me the story of how you vanquished the dreaded demon!" Tonks overacted placing her hands across her heart. Despite her lack of acting skills the three other first year students seemed to buy the story and looked to Harry for guidance. As well they should.

"So you'll be there to help us through this Harry?" Cho asked with wide eyes of astonishment. She had been skeptical about the stories surrounding Harry, but having the Headmaster and a 7th year back him up was all the validation she need to believe everything she had heard. The smile he gave her melted her heart as spoke again.

"Of course Cho, I won't let anything happen to you. You have my word."

"What about me?" Ron asked worriedly. He didn't want to be left to the demon, and though he hated to admit it, he needed Harry's help.

"You Ron? Why you'll be with me baiting in the demon so the others can prepare." Harry told the redhead boy.

"I AM!?" Ron was not a fan of this plan, not in the slightest. But being a bard, Harry had the astounding power to make people believe in themselves and allow them to conquer mountains. Sure in this case that mountain was a nigh invulnerable anthropomorphic goat demon, but in the great words of Marvin Gaye "Ain't no mountain high enough".

"Sure, after all, that duel we had proved you have far more power than most." Harry said as all eyes turned to Ron. He didn't know what Harry was going on about, he remembered getting his ass humiliated with an apple.

"Oh yes it's true. Ron here fought with the strength and fury of 20 wizards, it was simply remarkable. Had it not been for my experience he surely would have won." Harry again said and followed by mouthing 'Go with it'.

"Oh…..uh right. Yeah, I nearly had Harry but he pulled a fast one on me. Next time though you won't get so lucky snake." Ron at least was a slightly better actor than Tonks, which wasn't saying much. But it was enough to further inspire the group to be ready for this confrontation.

Harry laid out a plan involving him and Ron being in the far east wing of the castle where Krampus would then come for them. The two would bait it into the main courtyard where Bob stood and then those two would duke it out. In case Bob failed they would then retreat to the Great Hall where the entire toy army would be setup to run distraction as Dumbledore would read a banishment ritual from the book and send away the demon.

Cho and Susan would meet up with the two in the courtyard after they set up the army with Tonks and would run support for Bob with Ron and Harry. If it came down to having the confrontation in the Great Hall, the six of them would blast Krampus with spells and marbles until the ritual was complete.

"I have a question Harry. Umm I'm not very good at spells yet, at least casting under pressure, are you sure you want me on support for ummm...bob?" Susan asked rather dejectedly. Having none of that slight self loathing Harry grabbed Susan's arms and looked her in the eyes.

"Susan, I have no doubt in my mind that when the time comes, and you are witnessing a fight between a 3 story golem and a holiday spirit, you'll be brilliant." Over joyed with Harry's confidence in her, Susan smiled and nodded her head. She could do this! She wouldn't let Harry down!

"Tonks! I need to grab somethings from my dorm, care to join me?" He asked her as he left the Great Hall. Dumbledore was busy with the others explaining more advanced spells for them to be ready to fight. See? Having a demon show up is good for rapid education! As the duo made their way to the dungeon, Tonks spoke up.

"You don't really believe the others will be of help do you?" She genuinely wondered.

"Nope! Not on their own at least."

"Then why give them such high hopes for what they can do? I know confidence is important, but too much can get them killed. Especially if this thing is as dangerous as you say!"

"Because, them having that amount of confidence is vital for them to actual stay and fight, and I said they were useless on their own. Lucky for them I'm here." Harry said smugly.

"You're the reason this is happening in the first place!"

"Hahahaha I know, isn't it great?"

"Great isn't a word I would use to describe this Harry."

"Oh pssh, you got an invisible dragon out of this deal, one I recall you saying was the best gift ever."

"So I am receiving Chivers as an apology for this mess?"

"Uhh plus you are a great friend and I figured it would get me one step closer to sweeping you off your feet. Why, did it work?"

"...A little." Tonks said with a slight blush.

"That's all I need. Anyways remember that box I used with the troll?" Harry asked as they entered the Slytherin Common Room.

"Yea, why? Are we going to fight the demon with disco?"

"I wish, but sadly disco is not useful against Krampus. What is though is the Nutcracker Ballet." Harry said as he called forth the box again with _Accio_.

"Are you serious?"

"Very much so, only issue with that song though is that it removes our ability to talk. But it does give us a massive boost in power, and activates the toy army." Harry explained as he turned to his friend and smiled. Tonks nodded and the squinted her eyes in confusion.

"If you could summon the box why did you need me here?" She asked. Harry pointed up in the doorway they stood in to some hanging mistletoe.

"I figured if Krampus kills me I might as well enjoy the two days I have left." He said. Tonks gave him a playful push with a blush on her face. Seeing his massive grin and the clear amusement in his eyes though she ultimately relented.

"Fine, but if you do die on me, know that I will find a way to bring you back so I can kill you for doing that to me in the first place." She said before she locked lips with Harry.

Despite the impending doom that was the arrival of Krampus, both Harry and Tonks felt a sense of peace and joy as they stood together under the mistletoe.


	8. Chapter 8

_Disclaimer: I don't own either D &D or Harry Potter._

 _AN: I apologize in advance for those that want to keep along with the musical numbers featured, and the fact that there are three of them. I also apologize if any of the German is wrong as I am using Google translate, but trying to check if it is still correct._

In the two remaining days till December 24th, and the arrival of the one and only Krampus, Harry and Dumbledore gave further instruction and knowledge to the defenders as needed.

Dumbledore taught the gathered _Incendio_ and _Reducto_ as Harry filled him, and only him on the nature of the threat that would arrive. Now, most would say leaving out what Krampus was going to launch at the school to the other students was a bad idea, and that they should know what challenges await them.

Those people however have no flair for the dramatics like Harry did. Sure it was an awfully dick move, but the reactions from Tonks, Ron, Susan, and Cho more than made up for it by giving a wonderful story.

Harry had walked the group on what the plan consisted of in so far as him and Ron baiting in Krampus. He and Ron would wait in the Gryffindor common room until nightfall when Krampus would begin to make his move. From there they would send off a signal, aka they would blow something up, and then Tonks would open up the Box of Many Songs and say Nutcracker Ballet. The group would lose their ability of speech, but they would receive massive amounts of magical power in compensation.

After that the two would lead Krampus to Bob, where they would meet up with Cho and Susan and try to defeat Krampus then and there. If that didn't work, which Harry was very sure it wouldn't, they would retreat to the Great Hall where the toy army awaited and Dumbledore should be ready with the ritual to banish the spirit. The army would hold of Krampus with the children and allow for their Headmaster to finish the ritual, ending their icy nightmare.

I'll say this with the ability of hindsight on my side. The plan was alright, the only times they would confront the demon was when something far more powerful was with them, there was one issue though, something Harry didn't know about Krampus.

What Harry didn't know was when Krampus besieged a fortified and prepared location, he came with some friends.

So there Harry and Ron sat in the Gryffindor common room, the fireplace roaring with life and holiday decorations all around. Harry whistled to himself as he looked out the window towards the forest across the way. Snow had begun to fall and it was apparent that a blizzard would be greeting them soon. It would have been a warm and pleasant feeling, if not for the absolutely horrid color scheme of the room and the fact a demon was going to try and kill them.

"Honestly, of all the years that everyone has to leave, _this_ is the one." Ron mumbled to himself as he paced back and forth. Apparently his brothers had gone on a vacation with the Gryffindor Quidditch team to some beach in Spain, leaving Ron alone. Quidditch was a very popular broom based sport similar to football or as Americans call it soccer.

"Hey, look on the bright side." Harry said from his spot by the window. The snow was becoming heavier and falling much faster as his view was beginning to be obscured.

"What bright side?" Ron asked incredulously.

"Well, if we live you can gloat to all your fellow lions about beating a goat demon. If that doesn't do it for you, then I guess the bright side is the fireplace behind you." Harry said with a smart ass grin.

"It's the _if_ that I'm worried about! Why did you say I nearly beat you in our duel!? It just put more pressure on me to help! Something I can't do here!" Ron vented as the situation was catching up to him.

"Because it's fun to embellish and I wasn't about to risk Tonks getting killed by being in your spot." Harry answered honestly. If the worst did happen, then it would just be him and Ron that bit the dust, and not someone he had feelings for.

"So it's better that I die than her?"

"Yup."

"...You're a right bastard, you know that?" Ron said rather miffed. Harry could have at least lied to him for comfort reasons.

"Indeed. Though I think that won't matter for long. Something is happening outside." Harry said seriously as he motioned for Ron to come to the window. The red haired boy rushed over and gazed out the frosted window of the tower. He could barley see more than five feet out because of the heavy snowfall.

"I can't see a bloody thing." Ron told Harry.

"I am aware of that. That's what's concerning." Harry replied as he began to grab some of the marbles they had. Ron followed suit as both boys returned their stares to the near biblical blizzard with concern and anxiousness. The snow began to let up allowing for the two to see what was outside, something both regretted immediately.

An army of former victims of Krampus was gathered across the way, each body was iced over in blue and had frozen snow plastered to them. Their faces were contorted into looks of horror as they were forever stuck in the face of when the demon claimed them. In the middle of the amassed horde though, something stood out.

An effigy of Harry made from straw was hung from a noose upon a wooden beam, icicles impaled all through the body. A sign was placed around the effigy's neck with black lettering written across it.

'TOD ERWARTET' In English, Death Awaits.

The snowy victim holding the beam though was one Harry recognized. It was the former body of Sarah Eleriks, a specialist in Germanic Folklore who had met an untimely end the first year Harry had been introduced to Krampus. The woman had been nice to Harry and had taught him German, as well as acted like a surrogate mother. Her death had been the first of many of people who got roped into The Bard's adventures, and the one that began to numb Harry to the deaths of people. Krampus was adding insult to injury by having her come to kill Harry.

"Well…...shit." Harry mumbled as he had never seen this before, at least not to this degree. Ron looked horrified as the army stood perfectly still, staring them down from a distance.

All the lights in the common room save for the fire flickered out as a cold freeze entered the room. The fireplace dimmed dramatically, becoming little more than a mound of cinder, making the only source of light in the room the blue moonlight from outside. Both boys jumped as music began to play from seemingly nowhere.

 **(Play: Up On The Housetop, By Gene Autry)**

' _Up on the housetop the reindeer pause, out jumps_ _good old Santa Claus. Down through the chimney with lots of toys, all for the little ones Christmas joys.'_

Harry and Ron both turned slowly as the sounds of heavy foot steps could be heard on the shingles of the top of the tower. The steps made their way over to the fireplace as snow flakes began to trickle down into the cinder. Harry knew that the demon was mocking him by playing music, poking fun as his title of Bard, telling him that music wouldn't save him.

' _Ho, ho, ho, who wouldn't go. Ho, ho, ho, who wouldn't go. Up on the housetop click, click, click, down through the chimney with good Saint Nick. first comes the stocking of little Nell, oh dear Santa fill it well.'_

As the music stopped ice began to spread all around the chimney and into the room as the sounds of shuffling could be heard from the chimney now. Harry drew _Ironie_ and Ron drew his wand as both boys braced for what was to come.

A large mass dropped down into the fireplace with such force that it shook the entire room, coating it in snow and ice. The temperature was now below zero as Harry and Ron covered their faces from the winter that had entered the Gryffindor Tower.

Silhouetted by the moon, a large bulky figure emerged from the now smashed chimney, standing at a towering 14 feet tall. The unmistakable sight of horns was apparent on it as well as a glowing red eyes, piercing their way through the snow cloud. A low snarl began to emerge from the beast as it took a step forward into the light.

With fur as white as the snow, claws as big as cleavers, hooves as black as night, crooked fangs the size knives, horns as large as swords, and eyes redder than blood Krampus made his presence known.

" **Zeit, um Bard zu sterben.** " Krampus spat in guttural voice that would send chills down the spines of even the most courageous of warriors. The fact neither boy feld says far more about their bravery than could ever be given justice. Now, either out of bravery or stupidity, Harry spat back at the goat demon.

"Wie die Hölle, ich sterbe Billy Ziege!" Harry insulted the demon. As he stared down what was more than likely going to be his destroyer, Harry slowly prepared one of the marbles to toss.

" **Ich werde es geniessen, Sie zu töten.** " Krampus replied as he took a shattering step forwards.

Harry acted and threw one of the marbles at the demon, causing an explosion of force that knocked both boys back and cleared the room of the cloud. A growl of annoyance was the only sign Krampus gave of being bothered by the magic item as both boys began to make a break for the door. Krampus snarled as it tossed one of the lounging chairs out of it's path with one arm, sending it shattering into the far wall.

"Ron toss them all!" Harry said as he grabbed the six remaining marbles he had. With the six marbles Harry possessed, and the seven Ron had, both boys cleared the entrance to the Tower and lobbed them all at the demon.

If the occupants in the Great Hall hadn't heard the first explosion, then the second one definitely amended that as the magical items erupted with enough force and explosive power that it destroyed the entire first and second floors of the Gryffindor tower, as well as the entrance.

"Holy shit!" Ron let out as he was now experiencing a ringing in both ears that rattled him. Harry blinked a few times, having more experience with being up close to loud explosions, and recovered quickly enough to grab Ron and run down the hall towards Bob. Krampus shot from the rubble with a snarl as its howl caused the blood of all who heard it to run cold.

xxxXXXxxx

In the Great Hall, Tonks had rushed begun to open the box when the howl caused her to shiver. That things was after Harry, someone she had grown quite attached to, it was not going to be getting him on her watch. Opening the box and stating the song, all sound barring the music from the box drained from Hogwarts, as the magic that commanded the Nutcracker Ballet would not allow for the spotlight to be shared by anyone.

Harry had told her the box would play whatever song was needed for the closest Bard to succeed in whatever task they were doing, as it was attuned specifically for them. When the song the box had chose reached her ears Tonks wondered what mess Harry and Ron were in at the moment.

( **Play: Dance of the Sugarplum Fairy by Tchaikovsky)**

Harry and Ron crept silently through the second floor Trophy Room, taking great pains to not bump into anything. The metallic shine from all the trophies that littered the room aided them greatly as it reflected off the ice that surrounded Krampus, turning the room into one massive series of mirrors.

The Dance of the Sugarplum Fairy rang out in both boy's ears as the gained a much needed assistance in their stealth. Ron had never felt this light on his feet before and Harry felt like he could be practically invisible if he wanted to. Not that being invisible would help against a creature with Truesight.

The main issue facing both of them right now was that Krampus had was hounding the area they were hiding in, and was eventually going to spot them. Acting quickly Harry grabbed a trophy off the shelf and hurled it into a far off case. No sound came from the shattering of glass, yet Krampus was still drawn towards the area, the newly shattered glass reflecting light like a disco ball around the room.

Making haste, Ron quickly shot behind Krampus and made his way to the door on the far side of the room, signalling for Harry to follow. Harry started to make his way over as quiet as he could, taking care to avoid changing the light in a way that would give away his position.

Unfortunately Krampus began to turn around, forcing Harry to duck behind a trophy stand to hide. He surely would have been found if not for Ron's intervention by throwing another trophy across the room, silently shattering yet another case. Krampus turned as the light altered again, giving Harry enough space to make a run for it. Krampus noticed however and gave chase, a trail of frost and ice following him.

The two ran for their lives towards the courtyard where Bob, Susan, and Cho awaited. The visual of bright orange blasts of fire cued both in that it seemed that the snow corpse army had made contact with the others. As they ran from the rapidly gaining Krampus, Harry pointed to a window that overlooked the courtyard. Nodding, both boys ran and jumped through the window to escape their tormenter, the several feet of fresh snow cushioning their fall.

Susan and Cho were sending silent blasts of _Incendio_ at their foes, the mouthing of the word making up for the lack of verbalizing it. Bob was firing a beam of fire from the eye sockets from his helm, disintegrating countless of the frosted damned.

Sensing a change in tone, the Box of Many Songs, changed once again. 

( **Play: Waltz of the Flowers by Tchaikovsky)**

Gone was the stealthy and secretive tone of the Sugarplum Fairy, in it's stead was a more loud and soothing tone that boosted the dexterity of those around and brought them warmth in the harsh cold.

With several of the corpses shambling towards him, Harry let out silent casts of _Incendio_ , though unlike Susan and Cho who seemed to be targeting the body to try and slow them down, Harry aimed for the head. The faces of the two snow zombies burned off and caused the heads to be melted away into nothing.

Krampus smashed through the wall of the window Harry and Ron had leapt from hand landed in the snow, his minions surrounding him.

Two sides stared each other down, Harry leading the wizards and Bob the Golem, and Krampus with his zombified victims. Harry and Krampus locked eyes and had a momentary stare down until Bob had his fist become very acquainted with the demons face. Harry would have laughed aloud at the interruption, but the box was still demanding silence as it worked. Krampus glared up at Bob, who was more than twice the demon's height.

Snow and ice engulfed the holiday spirit as it rose to equal Bob's height and the two began to brawl. Claw and ice collided with metal and fire as the two giants began their fight. Harry and Ron rushed to the sides of Susan and Cho as the four began to blast bolts of fire at their foes.

One of the undead rushed Cho and was about to take a bite out of the beautiful girl's head. Thankfully her knight in dress clothes came in and delivered a strong right hand to the ice creatures head, causing it to shatter. Harry shook his fist as he gave Cho as smile and returned to blasting the creatures.

All was going well until the thing that once was Sarah came into view. The other three wizards were occupied with their own targets, leaving Harry alone against one who used to be like a mother to him. He hesitated, swearing that there was something in her eyes that still held the old Sarah. Harry was wrong, as much as he may have wished for there to be something left of her, Sarah was now a puppet to a demon. One that wanted him dead.

She had gotten close enough to Harry now that she was able to grab him and attempted to bite into his flesh. Harry, snapping from his daze, was able to react in time and judo flipped Sarah. As he stared down at the frozen face of horror that she was stuck in, Harry felt a new hatred for Krampus that he never had before. Mouthing "I'm Sorry" he destroyed the zombie of someone he had cared about deeply.

Harry was saved from another zombie by Susan who ran to pull him towards the Great Hall. Bob had been encased in ice, and was slowly burning his way out, but by the time he would get free Krampus would be upon them. The four rushed into the castle and into the Great Hall, closing the door behind them. The last thing Harry saw before doing so was Krampus calling upon more snow zombies.

Turning and seeing an amassed toy army that took up nearly a quarter of the Hall, Harry had a look of determination. No one present had ever seen Harry this determined, and the apparent desire in his eyes of wanting to destroy his enemy made his selection in Slytherin all the more validated.

Harry gestured to Dumbledore, asking if he was ready. The Headmaster nodded his head as he looked down at the tome. While he couldn't speak the words required, he could mouth them and mix in his own magic power to set off the Banishment. Harry marched over to where the army sat on the floor.

The Box was ready to fulfill it's goal for this night and activated the army with one last song.

( **Play: March from the Nutcracker by Tchaikovsky)**

The sounds of instruments filled the air as all the toy soldiers began to grow to the size of adult men. One by one each began to stiffly move their muskets into a charging position as Harry took the officer's saber off one. As the door began to buckle, Harry pointed the blade forward, signaling the charge.

When the door to the Great Hall was finally breached, Krampus's forces ran headlong into a line of bayonets as the toy soldiers all marched out to meet their enemy. Entire rows of soldiers marched out of the Hall, their muskets firing into not just the zombies, but into Krampus himself, actually causing the demon minor discomfort.

Harry marched forth with the army into the snowy battlefield as several cannons went off behind him, destroying rows of the zombies. Tonks ran to Harry's side as she cast her own mouthed spells into the horde. Harry struck down each zombies that stood in his way with the saber, and would continue to do so until he made it to Krampus. He was going to pay the bastard back with a sword to the heart.

Bob managed to free himself and turned to re-engage his target with a glowing fist of fire. Cho, Susan, and Ron all rushed out as well, joining in the counter push to defeat the demon. As the first wave of toys began to stab at Krampus, it swatted them away like flies, but was now being caught between a Golem, an army of magic toy soldiers, and Harry.

Dumbledore had finished casting the ritual as a portal leading to one of the circles of Hell emerged behind Krampus. The demon was being sucked back home as it clawed at the ground for support.

Harry marched up to the banishing demon and tossed the saber into it's eye, flipping it the middle finger after doing so. Krampus let out one last snarl of pain, and with blade in eye, was sucked into Hell for a second time.

The song came to an end as Harry let out a sigh. While the others cheered for victory and their well being, he couldn't help but feel like Krampus had won a psychological victory by bringing someone from his past. What if in the years to come it grabbed friends from here and turned them against him? Could he really blast Tonks, Hermione, Daphne, Tracey, or even Draco if that event ever occurred? Draco was a yes, but the others he was still torn.

"Harry we did it! Why aren't you excited?" Tonks asked as she ran over to him. She could tell something was bothering him, but it was up to him to tell her.

"I am excited. But….it brought back some old memories, ones I had to blast in the face with fire. If it takes more people I care about, eventually I won't want to fight it." He replied. Tonks pulled Harry into a hug and rubbed his back. She might not know the details but he needed some form of comfort.

"Thanks Tonks." He said as he leaned into the embrace. The two stayed like that until the cold forced them inside with the others. Before they cleared the doorway though Tonks stopped Harry and made him face her. He was surprised when she planted a kiss on his lips, but quickly returned it. After a few seconds the two parted and Harry gave her a smile she knew quite well. One of a cocky git.

"Oh my dear Tonks, finding me that irresistable are you?" He spoke with a massive amount of amusement. She playfully shoved him and crossed her arms.

"No, that's just for not dying on me. But you mister, are going to tell me about every possible demon, angel, god, fey, dragon, or angry food stand vendor that is trying to kill you, and possibly by extension me." She said firmly.

"...That might be a while." Harry said as he ran through the massive list of things that didn't like him. Shame no one ever asked about the list of things that did. It was just as long, but no one ever seemed to care.

"I have time. We can talk in the Hufflepuff common room." She replied.

"Oh, can we? Are you sure you're not trying to do something more...nefarious?" Harry said with an eyebrow wiggle.

"Tell you what, ask that question again when you're not a first year student, then we might talk." Tonks answered with an eyeroll. She was fine kissing him, he was far more mature than most other 7th years, sometimes, but anything else she would wait for him to be older. Plus it would give her time to search her own feelings on him as well.

xxxXXXXxxx

Luckily for Ron, and all of Gryffindor, Dumbledore knew how to repair the Tower in record time. By the time everyone else returned, no one would expect that it had been blown up while fighting a demon. Dumbledore had also sought Harry out after the battle as he wihed to give him something.

"Ah Harry, I have something for you." The Old Man said as he handed Harry a wrapped gift. The Bard had given Harry a paint set that turned painted landscapes real, and a Dancing Rapier named _Mockingbird_. But aside from that he didn't expect much, so the gift surprised him.

Opening it up Harry came face-to-face with a god awful looking cloak.

"The hell is this?" He asked the Headmaster.

"It was your father's invisibility cloak. It served him quite well." Dumbledore explained.

"No shit it's an invisibility cloak, if I had to wear this I would want to be invisible too." Harry mumbled as he really dreaded the fashion on it. Sighing, Harry tossed it around himself and found that it, indeed, made him invisible.

"Merry Christmas Harry." Dumbledore said as he walked off with a smile. Harry, using his newfound invisibility cloak decided that sneaking up on Tonks and scaring the shit out of her would be a great idea.

And he was right!

"Boo!" Harry appeared in front of his purple haired friend and Chivers.

"Bloody Hell!" Tonks screamed out as she jumped in fright. Upon seeing it was Harry, she promptly chased after him, intent on seeking vengeance.

While the two ran through the halls of the school, laughing and cursing at one another, neither them, or the others in Hogwarts knew what dangers awaited them from this point on. They were just happy to be alive.


	9. Chapter 9

_Disclaimer: I don't own either Harry Potter or D &D _

The time that passed from the thwarting of Krampus to the return of the remaining students was filled with way less exciting activities. Sure Harry had free reign of the castle with an invisibility cloak, and so mischief was abound, but the transition from a high energy situation like demon fighting to exploration gave Harry a type of Cabin Fever that could not be quenched by normal means. While exploring in attempts to fight off the growing restlessness Harry discovered two very important things.

Firstly, it was really easy to sneak into places you were not supposed to be while invisible. For example, the Restricted Section of the library, which . Harry's visit had been brief, taking a few books on more advanced combat spells, a couple on ancient legends in Great Britain, and finally one on Nicholas Flamel. The last one had been of mild interest to the young Bard, as he was familiar with the man and his famous Philosophers Stone. Was Harry thinking that the book would teach him the alchemy process of making one? Of course not. That did not mean he couldn't dream though.

But the second discovery made during his holiday escapades was one regarding character, on truly discovering yourself, seeing into your soul and having to look at it. He happened upon it while he was ironically singing whilst under the cloak.

"Should have been my name, Mister Cellophane, should have been my name. Cause you can look right through me, walk right by me, and never know I'm there. I tell ya, Mister Cellophane, should have been my name, Mister Cellophane." Harry sang as he danced invisible through the halls. He was mulling over using his new found stealth powers to torment the others in the castle, to branch out from just harassing Tonks.

Luckily for those still in the castle, Harry came across an object of intrigue during this nightly outing that would prevent him from taking those drastic means to entertain himself.

Harry and stumbled onto a room with the large mirror at the far end and found it prudent to investigate the object. The large ornate mirror had clawed feet and a golden frame with an inscription "Erised stra ehru oyt ube cafru oyt on wohsi". Approaching the mirror Harry first made note of the inscription. It took a few seconds as Harry tried to register what it said that he noticed its secret.

"I show not your face but your heart's desire. A little cliche for a mirror to have a backwards inscription on it." Harry said to himself taking the cloak off. Looking into the reflection of the mirror Harry noted it was not himself looking back.

The reflection was of an much older adult Harry standing on the red carpet. Two hollywood starlites were on either side of him as he smiled and answered questions. It was the primer of his latest movie, he directed and acted in it, but was not the main character. The movie was based off one of his many adventures and was bound to get critical acclaim.

Harry smiled and nodded to himself as he took in the scene. This was a mirror he could get behind! He would make sure everything in the reflection would come to pass and that he would live up the title of Bard.

"Having fun are we Harry?" The voice of Dumbledore gave Harry a slight startle as he conjured an ice knife, ready to throw it at the Headmaster. Seeing the old man though made Harry sigh, as he chucked the knife into a nearby pillar instead.

"You know I could have just messed you up royally right?" Harry asked rather annoyed. He was enjoying himself and did not want to be interrupted.

"It would take more than a simple dagger of ice to "mess me up" as you so put it. But I do apologize for the startle." Dumbledore spoke as he approached the mirror as well. The old wizard also nodded in approval at whatever the reflection showed him, clearly pleased.

"I see like so many before you, you have discovered the delights of the Mirror of Erised. I trust you realize what it does, given your apparent talent for the magical arts?" The Headmaster asked rhetorically. Harry gave a shrug and a nod as he turned back to the mirror. It was nice when people inflated his ego with compliments and let him show off.

"I take it the mirror shows what we want, or given the rather poor attempt at being clever, what we desire. Hence Erised." Harry answered as he looked back at the mirror. Damn he looked good, and he was rich and famous. Couldn't ask to be a better combination of things could you? Sure I suppose most people would have wanted to see their dead relatives in the reflection, especially orphans, but when resurrection magic was something you are very aware of things like "dead family" become trivial.

"Indeed, the happiest man on Earth would look into the mirror and see only himself." Dumbledore responded in his gentle grandfatherly voice.

"Well I guess it's a good thing I'm not the happiest man on Earth, otherwise this room would be boring as shit wouldn't it? I'd be just a room with a large mirror which would make a boring castle all the more boring." Harry's snide comment slightly upset Dumbledore.

"Firstly, I would ask you watch your language while in school. You may be used to dealing with those who use such crass language but others are not, and I would rather not have their vocabulary expanded just yet. Secondly, I hardly think Hogwarts is boring, in fact she holds many secrets for those brave enough to find them." He spoke the last bit with a hint of knowing, as if to subtly push Harry into exploring the castle. Luckily for Dumbledore, there was no need for roundabout manipulations because Harry already gathered what he was talking about.

"Oh you mean like a three headed dog standing over a trap door in a forbidden corridor?" Harry replied with mock ignorance.

"I see you have already ignored the warning I spoke of at the beginning of the year. But yes, Harry, like that."

"You don't tell a large group of people ranging from ages 11 to 18 about some place off limits unless you want them to investigate. Reverse psychology and all that jazz."

"All that jazz?" Dumbledore asked not familiar with the expression. It honestly upset Harry and The Bard sometimes at the wizarding world's lack of non-magic cultural awareness.

"Never seen Chicago? Good Broadway musical production about corruption and the idea of "celebrity criminals", I recommend it."

"If I find the time, I shall look into it. But I am curious Harry, what do you see in the mirror?" The old wizard asked Harry.

"Would you believe my parents?" Harry inquired.

"As much as it would warm my heart to hear that you're deepest desire is to know your parents, I doubt that is the case." Dumbledore replied sadly.

"Welp, you would be correct. It's actually to be the first person on Mars." Harry told the Headmaster. This was the fun game of half truths. Harry desired fame, adventure, and power, it just so happened one of the things to achieve those was to be the first person on Mars. Of course, the story he would tell about it would undersell that fact and talk more about the beauty of the desert red planet.

"...I must say, that was not what I expected to hear. In the event I believe that, might I ask why?"

"I like to keep people on their toes with surprises, and why not? Someone has to do it eventually, might as well be me."

"I can tell you like surprises. Now, would you like to know what I see?" Dumbledore asked with bemusement.

"Couldn't care less about what you want." Harry shot down the Headmaster. Whatever the old man's hearts desire was, it was not Harry's concern, nor was it of any importance.

"...I see. Well I'll have you know that I see a new pair of socks."

"Congrats! You're desire extends to small things you can easily acquire, reasonable goals I say. Me however, I think big." Harry spoke in a semi condescending one.

"I have never been known for my ambitions Harry." A twinkle appeared in the Headmaster's eye as he spoke.

"Says the guy who is in charge of the school for magic, and the court system. Sounds to me like you have plenty of ambition, you just hide it." Harry was quick to point out the hypocrisy of one saying they had no ambition when they held several key jobs.

"Hmm, I suppose to an outside viewer it would look like that. But I can assure you, my positions in both education and law do not mix." Dumbledore replied.

"If you tell yourself that lie to make you feel better at night then go right ahead. Me though? I can see what risks there are with you, though seeing as you have yet to become a tyrant about them I won't do anything."

"Oh, so if I were to become a tyrant you would do something?"

"Most definitely. I would tear everything you hold dear from you, strip you of all titles and powers, and when you are left with nothing but a memory of the power you once had I will end you. I may not be the best person, but I will never tolerate a despot and a tyrant to exist when I have a say in it." Harry spoke with intense conviction. Bards, especially Lore Bards, valued freedoms and independence, thus we have always had a hand in the toppling of the cruel and the corrupt. It was not just for a story, but for the principles at stake.

"Hmm, I must say that is an interesting development. So then what are your thoughts on your fellow housemates? I'm certain you've heard the rumors and stories regarding Slytherins history of Dark Lords." Albus asked.

"Well, some of them are ok. Daphne and Tracey mostly. Snape is ok, sometimes, but he is actually testing me so he gets bonus points. The rest are just a few swastika ladden red banners from a Fourth Reich. Them…..I'll leave until it becomes a problem."

"Do you think it will be?" Dumbledore asked, genuinely curious for the young lads insight. Harry gave a shrug and then continued.

"Don't know really, I imagine if someone came preaching about a return to the "Old Pureblood" ways and had sufficient power they could convince a lot of them."

"So if another…..You Know Who, should appear?"

"Oh please don't tell me you are on with that You Know Who garbage? Didn't he go to this school as a kid while you were in charge? You should know his actual name!" Harry spoke with a growing annoyance. The aged wizard smiled and let out a tiny chuckle.

"I was indeed in charge when Voldemort was just a student here. I still wonder if there was something I could have done to stop him."

"Well…..it's in the past now old man. Sure he was a kid here, but he had to go all psycho Dark Lord on everyone. Not your fault." The young Bard comforted.

"I wish I could think Harry, I really do. But enough about Voldemort, how has your nightly adventures around the castle been?" Dumbledore changed topics looking down at Harry.

"Boring, mostly, I want to explore what are clearly the cool rooms but I need more people for that." Harry lamented as he huffed in annoyance.

"Oh? And why not look into these "cool" rooms yourself? You've shown to not hold schools in high regard already, why the need for others?"

"Cause, it's a lame story to say 'I walked into this place and saw all these cool things by myself' if I had…..Tonks, Hermione, Daphne, and Tracey then I got a range of people to bounce the story around with. Get different reactions, their own banter, what they do in the room, you know what I mean." Dumbledore's smile got slightly larger as Harry explained his Bardic reasoning.

"Adventures with friends is often far more enjoyable than one on your own. I'm glad that you have made friends who would go on one with you."

"Oh, I'm ninety percent positive only Tonks would willingly follow me anywhere regarding an adventure. I'll have to trick the rest. Hmm, maybe I should bring Ron with too, he'd be easy enough to trick." Harry rubbed his twin as Albus' face went deadpan at Harry's plans on tricking his friends into having a fun adventure.

"I suppose I'll have to keep Madam Pomfrey noted about students getting tricked into going on adventures. I do need to express my hope that you are not doing anything to dangerous regarding your fellows and friends."

"Define too dangerous."

"Exploring off limits floors, having fights with Yuletide demons, sneaking in to the Restricted Section of the library. Those sorts of things."

"Hey, that last one isn't my fault, if it's restricted have better security than none at all. You're just asking for people to go in and look around. Also, you're the one who put a three headed dog in your castle. What's it even doing there anyways?" Harry asked the old man turning to face him.

"I can not tell you Harry. It is a secret that must be kept, you would do well to forget that place."

"...Headmaster, not only was that a poor attempt at reverse psychology, but I am a BARD! I live for secrets and the forgotten, so you would be saving us both time and effort if you just cut to the chase on what was needed." Harry argued looking at the Headmaster. The two entered a stare down for several seconds, wills and points being tested.

"There is a possible great threat at Hogwarts. The dog is there to dissuade said threat from getting what they want." The two continued their stare down, Harry now with a raised eyebrow. Finally Harry gave a smile and shrugged.

"Alright, you win. I am just gonna go forget all about the death hallway. Yes sir, time to go off and…...I don't know study for Transfiguration." Harry said as he dejectedly put on the cloak once more.

"I hear from Professor McGonagall that aside from your attitude, you're a fine student. Said something along the lines of you gloating to your fellows after finishing the assignments." Dumbledore commented as he watched the boy disappear.

"I'm eleven, I am entitled to gloat when I best the others, and maybe I wouldn't gloat as often if they got better. In Potions I don't gloat at all." The invisible boy spoke as he made his way to the room door.

"Ah yes, Snape informs me that he has you currently on third year potions, something of a bet between you two?"

"Something like that. There a reason you're talking to my teachers so often about me?"

"You were dead up until a few months ago remember? It was quite the shock to see your name on the incoming students list. McGonagall thought it was a prank by Fred and George Weasley and a rather distasteful one at that. I'm glad you've made a bond with your Head of House though Harry." Dumbledore spoke with a twinkle. The door to the room opened as Harry turned to face the Headmaster, not that he could see that of course.

"Fair enough. Speaking of my kicking the bucket, Draco talked about me having...er had stuff at Gringotts. Know anything about that?" Harry inquired.

"Only that with your "death" some of the older families sought to try and get access to what you were left by your parents. I tried to stop them but I unfortunately failed, and I am deeply sorry for that. Though they were unable to nullify old family agreements that resulted in a contract or two."

"That sounds like you know a lot about it then. And that last part sounds really not good, like I don't care about what I was left, but a contract might be an issue."

"I wouldn't worry about such things at this age Harry, old contracts exist for centuries and often never come to pass, it'll most likely be nothing." A loud thud could be heard across the room as Harry's invisible head connected with a very visible door. The smirk on Dumbledore's face clued the young Bard in on the Headmaster knowing exactly what he just did.

"I hate you."

"Oh? Why the sudden hatred?"

"You know exactly why!" Harry's arm shot out of the cloak with an accusatory point.

"I must say I am ignorant as to what I have done." The old man lied.

"You said the words that make sure lovely lady Fortuna and merry miss Fate are gonna have a grand old time with whatever I'm now roped into!"

"Ah! That, my apologies, you forget these things when you get old Harry."

"I hope you get a heart condition and lose your pills for it."

"We mostly take potions here Harry, but your wishing for my tragic senilie induced death is noted." Dumbledore joked back as the door to the room slammed close, Harry grumbling his way back to his dorm.

xxxXXXXxxx

Soon the holiday ended and the students returned to Hogwarts, many talking to their friends about what they did over the break and what lovely gifts they got. All of that was put on hold was they approached the main door of the castle. The looming form of Bob the Iron Golem greeted them with a wave as they slowly walked by. Immediately after the conversation was about that new development.

Harry sprawled across the floor, bored in the Slytherin common room, bouncing a bright red apple he had changed to be rubbery in nature off the ceiling. Draco entered the room with Crabbe and Goyle in tow, Daphne and Tracey not far behind them. The five looked at their bored friend and debated on asking if he was alright. Fear of the answer kept them from doing so, cowards.

"...Should we say something?" Tracey whispered to Daphne.

"We probably should, but I feel like that might rope us into something." Daphne wisely guessed. News of the apparent demon attack on the school had spread quickly on the Hogwarts Express. Apparently Ron, Susan, and Cho felt the need to write their friends and family that they fought Krampus with Harry and Dumbledore. Now obviously that story would sound silly to an outside observer, however the repairs on the previously blown to smithereens Gryffindor tower added validation. That and Bob was also a big hint something had indeed gone down.

"*sigh* I'll ask him." Draco approached his friend on the floor as the red bouncy apple was tossed once more. Standing off to the side Draco spoke.

"What's wrong Potter? You and Tonks get in a fight? Also what's this rubbish I hear about Krampus?"

"No, no fight, though she is mad at me at the moment. Apparently there is something called "Scaring someone too much", complete rubbish I say. And yup, you missed out, Ron Weasley was there, he acted as bait, and we took that snowy son of a bitch down." Harry said as he jumped to his feet with a kick up, catching the apple behind his back as he did so.

"*scoff* I'm sure that's all he was good for."

"Eh, he's got potential, just needs a good push in the right direction. Or maybe into a pit of zombies, with a sword obviously, builds character."

"...Talking from experience?" Draco hesitate to ask.

"Not really. The guy who ended up in the pit was brutally ripped apart. But he didn't have a sword, so I like to think with that he would have one and it would have been a character defining moment for him." Harry got more happy as he explained his thinking.

"I'll stick to not doing anything you define as character building from now on if you don't mind."

"Booo." Seeing that his kinda friend was back to his old snide/cheery self, Draco moved on as he rolled his eyes.

Seeing Daphne and Tracey approach Harry let a large smile come to his face as he handed Goyle the rubber apple, patting him on the arm as he walked past.

"Don't eat that. So, how was my favorite housemates vacations? You like the gifts?" Harry asked, giving both girls a small hug. The gifts in question being two rings, dark steel bands with a purple glow running down the middle.

"Yes, they seem nice, though I was teased endlessly about it. What are they though?" Daphne cut the chase. She had not been expecting a ring, and had actually been teased by her parents and little sister about it, saying things like she was 'a little young to have a boyfriend buy her jewelry'.

"Rings of Mind Shielding. Does as the name intends, blocks mind reading and unwanted telepathy. Figured for you politically aiming sort it would be a good fit." Harry explained as both girls eyes widened and smiles grew as they looked at the rings with renewed interest.

"Plus, it can do this." Harry held up his left hand as he revealed his own ring on his left index finger. With a smile the ring turned invisible, back to being visible, and invisible for a final time.

"Huh, so you can hide that you are wearing the ring? That seems very useful." Tracey commented.

"Immensely. I was doing some reading, apparently Legilimency is something older wizards and witches do. Well this ring is a big fuck you to them. Though probably more so to the people who practice occlumency." Harry elaborated on his choice of present.

"Something like this would be immensely valuable amongst Pureblood families, and really, anyone with political aspirations in general. Where did you get these? And three of them at that?" Daphne asked her friend. Harry was right on it being a big middle finger to two of the harder schools of magic to learn, and she was now a benefit of that.

"Well apparently there not that uncommon where The Bard is from, so he had a few from his past adventures. Mine I got from him after running into a Hypnotist in Las Vegas. We were initially helping him with a show, then all of a sudden the guy got the idea about mind controlling everyone and using their secrets to take over The Strip. Turns out he was possessed by a demon someone had trapped in an old mirror they had in the prop department. Found that part out after we decapitated him though." Harry explained looking up to see both girls giving him a raised eyebrow. Realizing he left that story off on the part where we had killed they guy, Harry finished the tale.

"...He got better."


	10. Chapter 10

_AN: I Don't own either D &D or Harry Potter_

Having reconnected with his fellow housemates and promptly reminding them why they tried to stay on his non murdery side, Harry made his way towards the Great Hall for breakfast. Daphne and Tracey following shortly behind, seemingly mulling over something in their minds. Our delightfully puckish Bard in training was reminded of his use of the Suggestion spell and began to internally debate the ethics of forcing someone to reevaluate their life values. While Harry was very much on the fence with the whole 'mind control' aspect that came with being a Bard, it was something The Bard had pointed out he would have to get over.

The trio arrived to the Hall and began to consume breakfast, Harry not missing the stares he was getting from the other tables. Specifically the parts of the tables that sat Ron Weasley, Tonks, Cho Chang, and Susan Bones. It seemed he was the topic of conversation, or well at least involved in said topic. As Harry watched with a bemused smile he paid extra attention to Ron's telling of the tale from the Gryffindor table. Reason for that special attention was not to see if Ron's skills as an orator were better than his dueling skills, he figured they were probably significantly less in all actuality. No, the reason for the attention was to watch the reaction of one Hermione Granger.

"Harry what are you looking at?" Tracey asked from his right. Holding up a finger Harry's smile grew as he could see the Muggleborn witch getting quite expressive as Ron told his version of the winter battle.

"Hold on a second, I think she is about to lose it." Harry whispered with growing anticipation. The two Slytherin girls followed his gaze and looked back at him with baffled looks.

"Why do you care what Granger thinks? She's probably just going to yell at you regardless of how true Weasley's story is. Probably painting himself as the hero and saying it's all your fault for whatever happened." Daphne said with an annoyed huff.

"Because, she is the straight man to my nefarious ne'er-do-well nonsense. Therefore her yelling at me is a necessary portion of my Bardic ways. You two choose not ask…..admittedly due to what the past answers have been, Tonks is usually on board, I only occasionally talk to Draco, that leaves Hermione to have to try and talk sense to me. Also, Ron wouldn't be wrong if he said either thing." Harry explained as his smile grew. Hermione was now standing, her palms slamming onto the table across from Ron. The red haired boy shrinked back and pointed at Harry from across the Hall, clearly pushing whatever trouble he was in onto the fashionable Slytherin.

"Does that mean you take her advice?" Tracey asked with a hint of disgust in her voice.

"Oh no, not in the slightest, in fact the plan is to slowly corrupt her line of thinking until it matches up with something similar to mine." Harry gave an enthusiastic wave as the angry bushy haired girl locked eyes with him. Watching her begin to stomp over to the Slytherin table Harry gave a gesture to the others that this was something he would handle. The young girl made her way to the young Bard and placed her fists on her hips with a frown. Harry turned around on the bench seat so he could face her, frown meeting smile.

"Harry Potter! What's this I hear about you bringing a demon to school, AND blowing up our tower!?" Hermione yelled/interrogated. The Slytherins who sat within ear shot all let out chuckles or laughed at the second part of the sentence. It was strange in Harry's mind that they choose to be on the fence in believing about the demon, yet were all for him blowing up Gryffindor Tower.

"First of all, I'm really liking the sassy angry look you got going on right now, it's very cute. Secondly, what about? The demon is gone, you missed that fun time, and you got a new tower out of it. If anything I should be getting congratulated." Harry replied leaning back against the table as he argued. The compliment/flirt threw Hermione off her game slightly as she dropped the stance and looked away for a moment in an attempt to hide the slight blush. Turning back she once more glared at her friend.

"It's not safe. What if someone got hurt? Honestly I'm surprised you weren't expelled for the stunt."

"...I feel like the moving staircase death trap is more unsafe than whatever demon I bring to school. As for being expelled, not my fault Krampus has a vendetta, blame central Europe for making the bloody thing. But if it makes you feel better, we had Bob and Dumbledore with us. And, Susan, Cho, and Ron all had a great time." Harry was pretty sure of that last statement, they didn't seek him out much after everything died down, so if they thought otherwise he was ignorant of it.

"Really? Because Ron is over there talking about how you're a mad man who forced him into being bait with you, right before you blew up the tower."

"But did he say he hated it? If not then he may very well have enjoyed every second." Harry asked, giving a point with his finger. Hermione, clearly figuring this argument was not one she wanted to be having anymore, decided to storm off with a huff. Smiling, Harry turned back around and finished his breakfast content knowing he was already causing a headache for someone.

"Did you really make Weasley act as bait?" Draco asked with glee, having come into the conversation mid Hermione rant. He had initially wanted to confront the girl for being where she shouldn't have been, but Harry's back and forth with her was more entertaining.

"Technically we both were bait, but I absolutely did make him come with me. You'd figure the house of courage and bravery would be all over the chance to fight, but nooooo. It was "you're crazy" this and "bloody hell that's a demon" that." Harry rambled on as the group finished their food.

xxxXXXXxxx

Classes had gone by as boring as usual, with potions still being the only thing Harry was actually tested in. Though it would seem that the Headmaster took it upon himself to tell the Heads of House about the actual threat that occured over the holiday.

Needless to say Transfiguration was awkward for Harry. McGonagall was already not a fan of his attitude, turns out blowing up her tower soured her even more. Having completed the class assignment, turning a block of wood into glass, with relative ease our young Bard awaited class to end. Finally when it was dismissed though, Harry was called over by the Professor as the others left. His fellow Slytherins as well as Hermione giving him a confused look until he shrugged and waved them on. Turning around he came face to face with the more than slightly irate McGonagall.

"Mr. Potter, I know we have not spoken much throughout the year but I want to make something perfectly clear. Between the night with the troll, whatever the event involving your mother was, your cocky and arrogant attitude in my class, and now the tower as well as endangering several other students, I want you to know I will be watching you like a hawk. Problem seems to take great measures to occur around you and as a result it is putting your fellow students in danger. In addition, any time I catch you acting like anything other than the ideal student, detention. Am I clear?" The old witch spoke with authority. Harry seemed to give the statement some thought, placing his hand on his chin in contemplation.

"Hmm, counter points. Seeing as the troll was out of my command and I saved a fellow student, one you seem very partial to, I'd argue that gets struck from the list. The ritual with my mother was just a poor orphan boy reconnecting with his dead mother for three days of the year, something I'm sure you can't hold against me. My cockiness and arrogance as you call them is normal for my age, the other students celebrate when they succeed, why shouldn't I? As for endangering other students, I would never willingly put other peoples lives at risk, it was an unfortunate turn of events that they happened to be here when the Yule demon came. The tower? I'll admit the tower was a casualty of war that could have been avoided. So how about this, one detention now for the tower, and we start on a new foot. What do you say?" Harry offered with a cheery smile. McGonagall stared at the young Bard with a heavy scowl, eyes holding minor anger.

"Detention. For a week." She spoke leaving no room for argument. McGonagall was a good lesson for Harry to learn early on in his Bard career, some people take much more to be persuaded than others, and even then it's only a partial victory.

"...Fair enough." Harry was wise and quit while he had something better than the original sentence he was getting. Honestly she was acting like he was physically pushing them into danger. Though now that he had thought about it, that might be a good way to get his friends into the third floor corridor. Stopping as he was about to leave a thought occurred to Harry to ask the old witch.

"Professor, you knew my parents right?" McGonagall looked at him with a softening expression.

"I did Mr. Potter. Your mother was one of my favorite students. Your father was a troublemaker like yourself with his friends, but still had a good heart."

"Snape says my father was an asshole."

"20 points from Slytherin for the language Mr. Potter, you are not with your…..unsavory guardian. And while it is not my place to say, your father and Professor Snape did have their issues with one another. Issues I don't think either ever solved." She explained.

"Ah. Does it bother you that I'm in Slytherin?" Harry asked as saw a slight look of shame shoot across the old witch's face, if only for a second.

"While I would have prefered to have you in my house, the house of your parents, I do not have any innate issues with you being in Slytherin. My issues with you stem from your reckless abandonment and flaunting of the rules and safety of your fellows." Harry could read between the lines as she spoke further about his behavior impacting school.

"You don't like that I was raised by criminals and have that attitude. I don't see how that's my fault, after all it's how I was raised. You keep looking at me as a normal eleven year old Professor when I'm not. I never got the chance to be, and in truth I wouldn't have wanted it anyways." Harry spoke calmly as the two stared each other in a moment of silence.

"...*sigh* When I heard that you had died I was devastated. I had been there the night you were dropped off and had serious reservations about leaving you with the Dursleys. Then I hear not two days later that you are missing and can not be tracked through your magic, meaning you would be dead. I still don't know how that was done, but it shook the Wizarding World. You had just defeated the Dark Lord and now you were gone too. Imagine my surprise come your name appearing on my list of new students. I thought Fred and George Weasley had done it as a cruel prank and was ready to turn them both into a book on good taste. But then you showed up, and were….not what we expected." McGonagall let out her emotions to him. Harry's own face softened a bit before he shook his head.

"Well, there is a very common muggle saying and I'm willing to lose the points over it, shit happens. I don't know why you all thought leaving a baby on a doorstep at night was a smart move, but here we are. And hey look on the bright side." Harry beamed with a smile and finger point towards the Professor.

"No points taken, an apt phrase for this conversation. And what is the bright side?" She asked with a raised eyebrow.

"You were expecting a corpse, and instead you got one alive, well dressed, well spoken, intelligent, and overall one amazing Harry Potter." He struck a pose with a snap and two finger guns.

"Get out of my class room." McGonagall deadpanned. Just when she was starting to warm up to him some too. Harry kept his smile as he pivoted and walked out of the room like he had just conquered Gaul. It was rather fortunate that the crowded nature of Hogwarts halls made gaining on his friends easy.

"What did the Professor want?" Tracey asked as Harry caught up with them. Hermione keeping her distance from the Slytherin who didn't like her as they walked. Seeing Harry now present and giving her a smile she eased up slightly and got closer to the group.

"I got detention for the week." Harry nonchalantly replied. The others gave looks that showed they were more upset about it than he was.

"For a week? Surely she can't do that. What for? You're one of the best in class, sure your ego is the size of a mountain, but that's hardly worth detention for a week." Daphne went off.

"It was that and my "reckless nature", also I'm pretty sure I annoy her by just existing."

"What makes you say that Harry?" Hermione inquired as she got closer.

"She knew my parents, and apparently I'm not what she expected."

"Well, I for one am glad your not like your parents. Father says your dad associated with the wrong people for his status, and don't get me started on what Snape thinks." Draco commented as they walked.

"Oh I am very aware of what Snape thinks." Harry replied as he made his way to Charms. Looking at the monstrous pile of books his Gryffindor friend was carrying, something stuck out to him.

" ' _The Lives of the Most Renowned Alchemists_ ', wouldn't happen to mention Nicholas Flamel would it?" Harry asked as they entered the classroom.

"It would actually, a bit of light reading I was doing. It seems interesting doesn't it Alchemy? Why do you ask? Some insane story about how you encountered the lost ghost of some Atlantean Alchemist?" Hermione sarcastically commented at the end. Harry let out a chuckle at the jab, if you dish it out you need to be able to take it as well.

"No sadly, he was from Shambala, a lot less interesting of a place that one is. I ask because it's a small world, I found a book detailing Flamel and his work in the library."

"Really? Where? The one I found was more about his legend than his actual person."

"The cool kids section."

"...You did not." Hermione's eyes narrowed as she knew what he meant.

"Oh I absolutely did, not a big believer in limiting knowledge, well at least them limiting my knowledge. Besides, all the fun stuff is in the restricted section, it's why they restrict it."

"And the fact that there can be something that can seriously hurt you in there didn't cross your mind?"

"...Not really cause if I open a book and some monster starts trying to claw at me, I'm just gonna close the book. Problem solved right there." Harry joked as the two took their seats and went through Charms. While the class was easy in Harry's opinion, he admitted this time it was due to him having a natural talent and wand for the magic. The creative ideas he had with charms, sticking, levitation, blasting, etc gave him a bunch of ideas for spells. A sticking charm to someone's leg combined with levitating their other leg in a rapid motion. It would be an easy way to take out someone's ability to walk, or even wishbone them if done violently enough.

Soon though, class was over and the rest of the day didn't hold as many interesting affairs. Tonks was sadly busy with her upperclassmen tests and as such that mean Harry couldn't find a valid enough reason to blow off his first night of detention. As the night began to take hold, Harry made his way to McGonagall's office.

"Ah, right on time Mr. Potter. Now if you would follow me we are going outside the castle to Hagrid's hut." She explained as they walked.

"Hagrid?...He's the tall one right?" Harry asked not being very familiar with the man. McGonagall let out a slight chuckle at the description.

"Yes he is the tall one. He is also the Keeper of Keys here at Hogwarts, and helps us watch the Forbidden Forest."

"Keeper of Keys you say? Must be an important guy." Harry's mind began to plot. Keeper of Keys seemed like the guy you wanted to be friends with.

"I'm glad you think so Mr. Potter. Too many students look down on Hagrid due to his status."

"I'm pretty sure his status makes it so they all have to look up at him."

"Jokes aside, Hagrid serves an important role here at Hogwarts that you will be helping him with."

"Do I get to go in the forest?" Harry asked with some excitement.

"I doubt that the situation requires that, so no." Coming to a modest sized hut at the edge of the Forbidden Forest McGonagall knocked on the large door, an equally large man answering it.

"Ah, 'ello Professor. I see ya got Harry with ya. Don't worry, I'll take good care of him." The large half giant known as Rubeus Hagrid spoke with jolly and enthusiasm. Harry was wondering where the hell this guy had been during his demon fight and why hadn't he been listed as an asset to the team. Dumbledore was holding out on him.

"I'll leave him in your care then. Remember Mr. Potter, 10 O'clock is curfew." McGonagall told Harry as she walked back to the castle. Harry watched as she got out of earshot and looked back at Hagrid.

"I'm glad she told me, I had no idea there was a curfew." Harry told the giant who let out a laugh.

"Been gettin into trouble have ya? Well don't worry too much about that, I'm sure it wasn't anything serious."

"Oh I wasn't gonna let it bother me, in fact I plan on doing it more, just more subtle now." The young Bard confessed as Hagrid let him into the hut. Furniture meant for a man of Hagrid's size was spread across the place, the remains of hunted birds and other food items took up much of the space, a warm fire offered most of the lighting.

"It's…...homey." Harry tried to be nice.

"Ah, thank ya Harry. Tell me, how have you been? I was the one who dropped you off when you were just a babe. I couldn't believe what they were sayin, you being dead and all. But here ya are! The Headmaster wanted me to go and try and find ya when we got word that you were coming here. But then we didn't know where to look and he had me run other business." Hagrid began to talk. Harry was suddenly a bit more interested in the conversation, sensing a potential secret.

"Oh? And what business would that be? It must have been very important if the Headmaster sent you." Harry asked in a naive fashion, playing the role of curious eleven year old.

"I can't say, sorry Harry. It would be too dangerous."

"But Hagrid, isn't more dangerous for me to not know what it is then? If it can possibly hurt me then I should know right?"

"Err...well I suppose you're right, but it won't hurt ya. It was just something really important the Headmaster wanted secured." Hagrid explained, raising a mug of hot tea to his lips. Harry began to think on what it might have been. Slowly but surely a picture began to form inside the young Bards head as his smile grew. Dumbledore had brought up there was a possible great threat, there had been the troll in the girls bathroom, everytime Quirrell looked at him his scar pulsed in pain, the three headed dog and the trap door, and he was now convinced it was lady Fortuna that placed the Flamel book into his and Hermione's possessions, knowing he would see it.

"Ah, I see. Well on an unrelated note, I don't suppose you know anything about Nicholas Flamel do you?" Harry asked, causing Hagrid to do a spit take.

"*Cough, cough* What makes you ask that Harry?" That was the sign Harry needed to pounce.

"Oh, you know, just a thought from a book I read about him. He is apparently the only Alchemist to ever make a Philosopher's Stone. A stone that, if the stories are true, can make the Elixir of Life. What a thing that would be huh?"

"Uhh…..I wouldn't know anything about that, really. Now then, you're here detention right? Uhh….you know what, you can go tonight, we have all week to get caught up on work." Hagrid quickly dismissed the young Bard, who had a shit eating grin on his face. Having the hut door closed behind him, Harry began to strutt his way back to his dorm. He had a very good idea on what was taking place in secret in the castle. All that was left was to confirm his suspicions and then assemble a team of young and easily trickable students into solving the problem.

xxxXXXXxxx

Was wasn't surprised when his fellow housemates declared that they would be having absolutely none of whatever he was trying to talk them into. The House of Snakes wasn't known for volunteering into potentially dangerous situations. Sure Harry was slightly offended that Daphne, Tracey, and Draco all shot him down before he could explain himself, but did choose to open with "Hey guys, want to go with me on a quest?". They had heard how his quests go. To them it was a matter of self preservation and Harry, while upset, would respect it. After all that just meant he had to trick the Gryffindors and recruit Tonks. It was after Charms when Harry struck like the snake he was.

"Ron, Hermione, come here." Harry whispered to the two, one far more hesitant to do so than the other.

"Please don't tell me there's another thing coming after you." Ron prayed that he wasn't being made bait again.

"No….not this time anyways. I think I've discovered something that might be a potential threat to the school though. While I was serving detention with Hagrid he let it slip that the Philosopher's Stone is here at Hogwarts." Harry began to explain, bending the truth slightly. That got Hermione's attention as her eyes widened, Ron thought for a bit before he remembered what that was and gave Harry a confused look.

"So what? There is plenty of old magic items here in the castle." The redhead dismissed.

"So what?! This is the Philosopher's Stone Ron, made by Nicholas Flamel. It is the highest point of Alchemy achievement and is said to be able to extend a person's life through the Elixir of Life. And I'm sure Harry has a good reason for sharing this with us." Hermione scolded her housemate.

"Thank you Hermione, I do in fact have a reason for sharing this. I believe the Stone is in danger of being stolen by someone who has far that good intentions with it. Think about it, the troll on Halloween would have been the perfect distraction for someone to scope the place out. The Headmaster made a point to say the third floor corridor was off limits and those who trespassed would face a brutal end at the beginning of the year. We all saw the three headed dog and the trap door. Furthermore over the winter break Dumbledore himself told me he expected possible great danger. Clearly the Stone is under that trapdoor and the Headmaster feels that there is the high possibility of a theft. Think about all the harm someone could do with the Stone. I need your help to stop this thief." Harry finished as the two Gryffindors began to look slightly more concerned as their friend/object of nightmares spoke.

"Well we have to tell the Professors then, they'll know what best to do." Hermione argued as Harry shook his head.

"No, what if it's one of the Professors? You'd be telling them that you know about their plan and they might try and silence you then and there." Harry countered argued.

"It's gotta be Snape!" Ron spoke up with a heated accusation. The other two looked at him and await an explanation.

"Well, he's the potions Professor so he'd be the one to benefit the most out of stealing the Stone. And there was the days after the troll that he had an injury on his leg. He must have tried to sneak past the dog." Ron defended his choice of thief as the other two thought it over. Hermione was more willing to believe her housemates argument, given her own dislike of the Professor and the fact the potions argument made sense. Harry was a lot less inclined to think so, but it was a possibility. It didn't matter much though as Harry still needed to bait a Professor into spilling the beans completely on the situation before he acted.

"Right, Snape could be the thief. But before we know for certain on when he'll try and go for the Stone I'll keep my ear to the ground. In the meantime, you two keep an eye on anyone who might be suspicious. I have detention with Hagrid again tonight, I'll let you know if he lets anything else slip." Both gave nods as they broke apart from their meeting. The day proceed mostly uneventfully until after dinner. Deciding to make a pit stop with Snape before his detention with Hagrid, Harry made his way to the Head of House's office. Knocking on the door, Harry then opened it and walked into the room like he owned the place, an annoyed Snape scowling at him.

"Potter, does your arrogance have no end?"

"Probably not, but more important questions are afoot. Like what you know about the Philosopher's Stone." Harry smirked with smugness as he took a seat.

"I know that you shouldn't know anything about it. But given your smug face I'm gathering that you know it is here." Snape growled as he took his own chair across from the young Bard.

"Yup. I've also gathered that the reason the third floor is off limits is because it's past the dog and trap door. But I'm also thinking that our Headmaster didn't just have our resident half giant retrieve it alone. I'm thinking that there must be a select few who know about the Stone, and as such a select few who know why someone would go to great lengths to have it."

"Why are you telling me this?"

"Because, some might think you're the one to try and steal it. I don't think so though, at least not by yourself." Snape raised an eyebrow and leaned in slightly, elbows on the desk.

"And who do you think would be trying to steal it?"

"It's only a guess but the guy who every time he looks at me, my scar hurts. The scar I have had no issues with for eleven years. The scar left behind by Voldemort. The scar I got from this country. He warned us about the troll, a distaction. He speaks with a stutter that I've come to gather as a fake. He teaches the Defense Against the Dark Arts class." Harry told the Professor as an evil smile slowly formed on his face.

"...We agree then." Snape leaned back, his face cold but holding some respect for his student seeing the same signs he did.

"Good. I have a plan to catch him. It requires your help though."

"Oh? And what help would that be." Snape asked.

"You'll enjoy it. I want you to bully Quirrell about the Stone within earshot of Hermione Granger and Ron Weasley." Harry said.

"Why those two?"

"Because, they're going to help us catch him. Tonks will help as well, but I just have to ask her, no need for putting on a show." Harry explained as the two snakes plotted Quirrell's downfall. When it came time for Harry to head to his detention he did so with grin across his face, a grin that promised a scheme that would destroy Quirrell in the worst possible way.


End file.
